I was proud of Jessica when she’d replied, “It’s our first night together as a family, we want her with us. You can come get her in the morning and keep her for a couple of hours.”
“Not too early,” I’d interjected.
“Of course not. Just call us when you’re up and around.”
I wasn’t planning on us being “up and around” until we had to leave for the airport on Tuesday, but we could fake it enough to hand Ruthie over for a few hours.
After testing the milk on my wrist, I headed to the nursery.
I didn’t wake Ruthie up right away; instead, I laid my head on my arm resting on the crib guardrail and watched her sleep. It overwhelmed me how much I’d come to care for this child in such a short time and couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck was wrong with her biological dad.
I couldn’t imagine walking away from her, and I hadn’t even contributed to her DNA.
Her little bow lips were parted as she slept, and with my free hand, I reached down to stroke her tiny fingers that were balled up in a fist.
“I’ll keep you safe, baby girl,” I whispered. “I promise.”
I’m not sure how long I watched her before I gingerly lifted her up and sat down in the glider with her in my arms.
She cried at rudely being awoken from her slumber, and I empathized with her, telling her, “I know. That was so mean of Daddy to wake you up like that. But I’ve got a bottle for you, sweetheart.”
I held my breath as I offered her the silicone nipple. I knew Jess would feel guilty about drinking if Ruthie wouldn’t take a bottle tonight.
Fortunately, she started sucking right away, making little noises as she did.
“You’re such a good eater!”
Once she’d been fed and burped, I could tell by the smells coming from her that I needed to change her diaper. And that’s when I realized I’d never done that before.
After a quick YouTube tutorial, I laid her on the changing table, unsnapped her bodysuit, and pulled the diaper tabs apart, then gagged when I saw the green poop smeared on her bottom.
“Damn, girl. I think that could be classified as hazardous waste!”
She just kicked her legs in response.
I probably used half the pack of wipes to clean her, then put some cornstarch powder on my hands then patted her bottom with it like I’d seen Jess do.
Next came putting the new diaper on. That wasn’t as easy as the video had made it seem, probably because the baby in the video had been still and Ruthie decided to squirm while I attempted to fasten the tabs together.
It wasn’t as neat as when Jess did it, but I decided it would do, and snapped her bodysuit closed, then put her in the crib on her back.
Then the little stinker smiled at me and kicked her legs some more.
So naturally I had to pick her back up and rub her back while I rocked her.
****
Jessica
It took me a second to realize where I was when I woke up around one thirty in the morning, sore, satiated, and excited for married life.
Alan wasn’t in bed next to me, so I wondered if he was trying to feed the baby. My achy boobs reminded me that I needed to pump and dump.
I tiptoed into the nursery, expecting to find Alan feeding Ruthie. Instead, I discovered them asleep in the glider—Ruthie nestled against Alan’s bare chest with his arm under her bottom and his other hand splayed on her back.
It was such a sweet sight, and I got tears in my eyes looking at them.
I was so blessed to have found a man who didn’t mind raising another man’s child. I knew he’d love her like she was biologically his—heck, he already did.
