“Oh my god.” She mimicked me as she leaned closer, grinning widely. “You are!”
“I amnot,” I protested. Why did we often revert to our childhood roles? “It’s…warm in here. That’s all.” I pushed up the sleeves to my robe as if to prove my point.
“Nice tattoo.” She grinned then added, “Liar.You were thinking about Frasier, weren’t you? It’s okay to admit it. You deserve to be happy again.”
I crossed my legs, trying to hold it together as I said nothing. I was still hurt by our recent conversations—and the fact that she seemed able to so easily gloss over them. Or maybe she just didn’t want anything to ruin her big day.
“Look, um—” She leaned in, lowering her voice. “I know you’re upset with me, rightfully so. And I wanted to say that I’m really sorry about the things I said the other day.”
Maybe I hadn’t been as good at hiding my hurt as I thought, or maybe my sister was that good at reading me. I didn’t want to cause drama, but since she’d brought it up, I needed to clear the air.
“Do you understand why I was upset?”
She sighed. “I know this is going to sound like it’s about me, but it isn’t. Not really. It’s just so hard to watch someone you love go through something so awful. And I know there’s no timeline on grief, but I’m worried about you. I just want you to be happy. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what to say, but I was genuinely trying to help.”
“I get that,” I said, appreciating her concern and the fact that she had understood and acknowledged the reasons for my upset. “But I’m trying. I’ve been going to therapy and I’ve tried new hobbies and I’ve pushed myself. You have no idea—” my voice broke “—how hard I’ve worked, every day. And it feels like your comments dismiss the progress I’ve made.”
“Oh no.” Her face crumpled. “That…” She swiped away a tear. “I’m so sorry, Bryn. That wasn’t my intent at all.”
“It might not have been your intent, but can you understand how it might have come across?” I asked. “It puts pressure on me to mask my pain or just get over it.”
“I’m so sorry that it sounded that way, Bryn. I absolutely would never want you to feel like you need to hide your emotions from me. And the idea that I think you should get over it…” Allie shook her head. She looked so heartbroken and earnest that I couldn’t help but soften.
“Thank you.” I took a steadying breath, leaning my head back to blink away tears. “I appreciate your saying that. Just…” I toyed with the belt of my robe. “Can you trust me to do what I need to do for me instead of trying to push me into it?”
She cringed. “Like trying to set you up on dates?”
“Yes.” I arched my brow. “Like that.”
“I’m sorry. I just know how much you like being in a relationship, and I thought…” She lifted a shoulder. “Anyway. I promise I’ll try to be better about listening.” She leaned closer, taking my hands in hers. “I’m always here for you. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I said, because I did. “I could never repay you for everything you did for me after Derek passed away. Thank you for being there for me.”
“Brynnie, I’m your sister. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
I pulled her in for a hug, relief washing over me. I hadn’t realized how much our rift had been weighing on me. But now,we’d both said what we needed to say, and I was ready to move on.
“Thanks for the room upgrade, by the way.”
She grinned. “I thought it might be a nice surprise and…perhaps a good peace offering?”
Suddenly, she seemed so hesitant and unsure. And it made me realize that Allie had genuinely wanted to do something nice for me to apologize, but also to celebrate my new relationship with Frasier. It was really sweet.
I grinned. “Maybe we need to fight more often. I could get used to this.”
She laughed but then seemed to hesitate. “Am I allowed to ask about Frasier now?”
I laughed, mostly to cover my anxiety. “Why? What do you want to know?”
“I just have so many questions.” She seemed almost giddy. “How did it happen? When did you know you wanted to be more than friends? How long…”
“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” I held up my hands. “Slow down, Al.”
She laughed, leaning into me. “Fine. I guess you don’t have to answer it all at once, but I’ve missed you.”
Her admission made me feel even worse for lying about dating Frasier, but we’d just mended our relationship. I didn’t want to risk damaging it again, especially not so soon.
So, I poked her in the side, and she giggled, pushing my hand away. “I’ve always been here.”
