She nodded, her eyes glassy as she glanced down at the floor. “Yes. He would’ve.”
Later, after she’d finished going through Derek’s jerseys, we ate dinner. Took the dogs for a walk. I’d set up the projector in the backyard, cueing up a movie. Less than ten minutes in, she’d fallen asleep.
I studied Bryn, gently brushing her hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed, blond lashes soft against her skin. Her lips were slightly pursed, face relaxed. She was breathtaking and completely exhausted.
I frowned. The only other time I’d seen her this tired was after Derek’s death. The shock of it, the aftermath, the trauma had completely depleted her.
I understood that grief was nonlinear, but I didn’t get the impression that this was about Derek. For the past few months, everything had been great. And I couldn’t understand what had happened or even how to fix it.
Was it the fight? The response? The travel?
I couldn’t change my travel schedule, and I’d tried to alleviate her fears. When I was home, I did everything I could do to maximize our limited time together, which was why I’d suggested moving in together. I’d been so certain she’d agree that I’d reached out to a Realtor about listing my condo.
But Bryn had seemed surprised by my suggestion. Hesitant. She’d asked if she could think about it.
I didn’t know what there was to think about. We loved each other. We wanted to be together. Right?
I sighed, falling onto my back on the quilt. I stared up at the sky, tucking my arms beneath my head. Bryn said she needed to work through something, but in the past, Bryn had always come to me, relied on me. It killed me—not knowing what was bothering her or how to fix it. And when the credits eventually rolled on the movie, I was no closer to having any answers.
“The wind whistledthrough the cave, making her shiver and the fire flicker. He laid her down on their jackets, ignoring the storm that continued to rage outside?—”
“What the fuck are you listening to?” Gabe asked, entering the room where the ice baths were located.
I was about to step into the freezing water but quickly hit pause on the audiobook, hoping my expression wasn’t guilty as fuck. “Hammy feeling better?”
The only reason I’d selected that book was because I’d assumed he’d be with the trainers a while longer. Gabe’s hamstring had been bothering him since a hit he’d taken in the last game, so he’d been spending more time with the trainers—doing stretches, getting it massaged.
“Yes, but—” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why are you being so cagey? And what was that book?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “It’s, um…” God, there was no getting around this. Was there? “Have you heard of Meghan Hart?”
“No.” He removed his sweat pants, leaving him in his compression shorts. “Should I know her?”
“She’s one of Bryn’s favorite authors.”
He arched one brow. “Interesting. What does she write?”
“Romance.”
He leaned his head back and guffawed. “Fizzy, if you wanted some tips, all you had to do was ask.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve been missing Bryn. I thought this might help me feel closer to her.” And I was still thrown by her reaction to the idea of us moving in together.
I could understand if she wasn’t ready to leave behind the home she’d shared with Derek, but I wasn’t asking her to do that. I would never ask that of her. Maybe I’d been wrong to think she was ready for this next step.
Gabe leaned his elbow on the edge of the cold tub next to mine. “She’s been gone, what? A day?”
“Two,” I said, but it seemed like so much more than that because of the distance she seemed intent on putting between us. “And I feel like I haven’t seen her at all since the season started.”
Now that I was the one at home and she was out of town, it was even more disorienting. I didn’t like it.
“But the two of you are good, right?”
I lifted a shoulder, not entirely sure what to say to that.
“Fine.” Gabe yanked his shirt over his head. “Since you’re so mopey and pathetic, let’s give it a try.”
I pressed play, sinking into the water as I focused on my breathing. The narrator’s voice carried through the room, describing the scene in great detail. It was definitely a good distraction from the ice water.
