CHAPTER ONE
“Oh my god. Seriously?” Bryn tossed her phone down on the bed with a huff. Biscuit lifted her head from the dog bed in the corner briefly before lowering it once more. “My sister is going to push me over the edge.”
“Is this about the wedding?”
“What else?” Bryn rolled her eyes.
I surveyed Bryn’s guest bedroom, grabbing a set of screws from the floor. She sank down on the edge of the mattress, still in her scrubs. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, the wavy blond strands falling like silk over her shoulder. She looked younger than her twenty-seven years, though she’d certainly been through a lot in the past eighteen months. We both had.
But life went on, whether we liked it or not.
It was strange to celebrate without Derek. First, it was a game the team had won. Then Christmas and New Year’s. Then his birthday. The end of the season. And now, Bryn’s sister’s wedding.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
If Bryn complained about her family, it was usually because they were so close that it was inevitable. And if they smothered her, it was only because they cared.
I got it. I was close to my own family. Or at least, I used to be. Now, our relationship was strained—and in some cases, nonexistent.
But my found family? They’d all rallied around us after Derek’s death. They and our friends, my current teammates, and even some former ones. Everyone had been hurting, but they’d stepped up to help Bryn. To support her—and, to a lesser extent, me—through the tragedy as best as they could.
“Allie said she feels like ‘the light’s gone out of me.’” Bryn used air quotes, rolling her eyes as she relayed her sister’s sentiment.
Oof.I winced.
“And what do you think?” I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying a few choice words about Bryn’s sister’s comment.
“I think that my husband died and my life got flipped upside down and I’m doing the best I can.”
I placed my hand on Bryn’s knee, our eyes locking. “You’re doing great.”
I understood that Allie was trying to help, and I knew it was coming from a place of love, but she wasn’t here day in and day out. She was supportive, as much as she could be from afar. But she hadn’t witnessed Bryn’s progress in the same way I had. Allie didn’t see the good days and the bad days. And as much as I hated seeing Bryn in pain, I was so fucking grateful that she allowed me to be there for her.
“Thank you.” Bryn dropped her head, gaze on the floor, before murmuring, “To be honest, most days, I’m just making it through.”
“Give yourself some credit,” I said, not willing to let her downplay what she’d survived or the progress she’d made. I gnashed my teeth.I could kill Allie for making Bryn doubt herself.“You’re healing.”
“Yeah,” Bryn acknowledged reluctantly. “Okay. Maybe I was just making it through before, and I still sometimes have days like that. But I’m doing better.”
I gave her knee a squeeze before releasing her. “What’s really bothering you?” I asked when she started gnawing on her lip.
“I think…” Bryn blew out a breath, calmer now. “I think my family is worried the wedding will remind me of everything I lost.”
Everything we’d both lost. My chest ached at the reminder.
Her husband. My best friend and former teammate. A talented hockey player and an even better man. It was still hard to believe Derek was gone. It just didn’t make sense—his sudden death. I wasn’t sure it ever would.
“She hasn’t said it, but I get the feeling that my sister feels guilty that she found her happily ever after when we all know how my love story ended,” Bryn continued, breaking me out of my thoughts. “But she shouldn’t. I’m thrilled for her.”
I knew that Bryn was genuinely happy for Allie. But that didn’t mean Bryn couldn’t also be hurting. If I’d learned anything over the past year and a half, it was that grief was complex. It often required you to juggle two conflicting emotions simultaneously—anger and sadness. Joy and heartbreak. And none of it was easy.
“Have you told her that?” I flipped my hat backward to keep my hair out of my face.
The length was starting to drive me nuts, but I’d been waiting for Georgia to come back from vacation. She was the team’s stylist, and I wouldn’t let anyone else touch my hair.
“Of course I have.” Bryn stood and started pacing. “But I feel like she’s not listening at all lately, and she’s not the only one.”
I arched one brow, not liking the sound of that. “What does that mean?”
