Anne struggled to her feet.
“Back straight, head up, and look at me. Yes. Now, I want you to take a long, slow, deep breath.”
They all breathed in and out with Anne.
“Now, you are the queen. Whatever you are feeling inside, you must put on a performance. Royalty is an act. God knows we saw your predecessor do it a thousand times, and she was skilled at it! You must put on a show of confidence, of happiness; you must perform the emotions, look proudly out at the crowd, sit up straight and smile. No matter how you are quaking inside, you must go out and be England’s queen today. This may be the hardest day of your life, but every day is a gift from God, andthis is his gift to you. So, lift up your chin; let’s finish getting you ready.”
These words seemed to be exactly what Anne needed to hear. Her shoulders went back; her chin lifted. Isabel came forward with the diamonds and set them about Anne’s slender throat.
“They will be looking closely at you,” her mother continued. “Your clothes, your hair, your circlet, your diamonds. Your face must also be a jewel among them. You must go out wearing a mask and never let that mask slip. As you travel through the streets, and the crowd cheers you, you will find yourself better able to be calm, to enjoy the moment. By the end of it, you will have forgotten your fears. When you look back upon it, you will put these doubts away and remember only the moment of glory.”
Anne closed her eyes and breathed.
“Mint?” Thomasin said suddenly. “Sucking on leaves of mint has a great calming effect, if there is any to hand.”
Lady Elizabeth nodded at her to go and see, so Thomasin headed again to the antechamber and summoned a maid. Presently, a sheaf of mint leaves was brought up from the kitchens.
“Here,” said Thomasin, holding it out to Anne, in what must have been the first kind gesture between them. “Place one on your tongue. It has always calmed me in times of anxiety.”
“It cannot hurt to try,” urged Lady Elizabeth, nudging her daughter’s silver arm. Anne obeyed, slipping a green leaf into her mouth without looking at Thomasin.
The door behind them admitted Sir Thomas, dressed in black velvet lined with silver, and heaped with gold chains. It suited the salt-and-pepper colouring of his hair well, and Thomasin blushed to admit to herself how striking he looked for an older man.
“Are you ready? The procession is waiting. All they lack now is you!”
“Anne has had some worries,” said his wife tactfully.
“Worries? It is too late for worries. You cannot give in to worries as a queen! You are all ready to go?” He looked her up and down, taking in the silver gown and the hair and jewels.
But Anne refused to move.
“What are you waiting for?”
One hand hesitated about her belly.
“Are you in pain?” asked her mother.
Anne’s large dark eyes opened even wider. “I fear for my child.”
She looked so pitiful, despite her glittering clothes and surroundings, that it was impossible for Thomasin not to be moved.
“The child, the son,” corrected Sir Thomas, “who will be a future king of England. This is the first step in his glorious journey. Come!” He took her by the arm, but she resisted. His tone changed then, and he started to grow impatient. “What would you have me tell the king? That you have changed your mind? You are indisposed? Shall I tell him to send the procession away? Send home the crowds that have been waiting for you for hours in the streets? Stop being so selfish and do your part.”
“This is unlike you,” said Lady Elizabeth, more gently. “Where has all your confidence gone?”
“I know not,” Anne said softly.
“Shall I send for the king?” Sir Thomas almost hissed. “What would he say, seeing you like this? You are no queen in this state! Remember you were not born to this. You must perform your role even better than those who were. Think of Queen Catherine!” He did not hesitate to use her old, rejected title of ‘Queen’ instead of ‘Dowager’ when the situation demanded. “Can you at least equal her performances?”
Anne sighed deeply.
“People are out there waiting, asking where you are. What has happened? You have come this far — why this terrible reluctance now? It’s too late to give back the wedding and the babe, and everything else that has been undone for your sake! Do not be a disgrace to our name! Get out there!”
Thomasin winced at his harsh words, but there was no denying that Anne must embark at once.
“I am going to call for the king!” He moved towards the door.
“No! He cannot see me like this. He must think me strong. I cannot show him my weakness.”
