“I would not presume to comment on a lady’s prospects,” Isaac answered, his voice flat. “Good evening, Lord Pennington.”
He walked on, the unease following him like a shadow.
Relief poured into his limbs as he walked away, glad now to be free of Miss Oldham’s company. It was very strange to have such a change of emotion when it came to the lady, for when he had once been filled with longing for her company, he was now desperate to step away.
“You look… disheveled.” Lord Kinsley’s eyebrow arched as Isaac scowled. “You are displeased about something. Tell me it is not about the card game last evening, for then I too shall fall into despair since I lost so much coin.”
This made Isaac’s scowl fall away. “No, it is not about the card game, although you would not have lost so much had you chosen to step out of the game at the same time I did.”
Lord Kinsley chuckled. “Ah, but where would the fun have been in that?”
“Indeed.” Isaac’s lips twisted upwards. “Did Emily rail at you for your loss?”
Lord Kinsley winced obviously. “Your sister is very good to me, I have to admit. She shows more patience and understanding than I deserve.” Turning his head away, he gestured to the vast crowd around them, taking the subject of conversation away from himself. “So, given that you are here to make a suitable match, just how many young ladies have you asked to dance with this evening?”
The scowl quickly returned to Isaac’s face. “None. In fact, I met the one young lady I did not want to meet.”
Lord Kinsley’s eyebrows shot upwards. “You mean to say that Miss Oldham is here this evening? You did not see her all last Season, and I know you were hopeful she would be absent this Season also.”
“Yes, I was. Alas, Lord Wickton is her brother-in-law, having married her sister. I did not know of this, so when he said he would introduce me, I was unprepared for the meeting.”
Sympathy crinkled the edges of Lord Kinsley’s eyes. “It must have been something of a shock.”
“Yes, it was.” Isaac raked one hand through his hair and then blew out a breath of exasperation. “If I could rid her from my thoughts altogether, then that would free me to fall in love with another young lady – one much more worthy than she! But I cannot.”
Lord Kinsley nodded but said nothing, waiting for Isaac to say more.
“That letter she sent,” Isaac scowled, shaking his head. “I cannot forget it.”
A month after the letter ending their engagement with such abruptness, Lord Kinsley had come to call, as he often did.Yes, they were brothers-in-law but also very good friends – something which had been formed long before Lord Kinsley’s interest in Emily. On that particular occasion, however, Isaac had not been interested in his friend’s arrival. He had been sick to the heart, broken, shamed, and unwilling to entertain any sort of company, even that of his dear friend. The hopes he had for the future, the delight he had thought was bound to be his and the promise of a love shared for the rest of his life had all unraveled in an instant, and Isaac had been unwilling – perhaps even unable – to discuss it. He had not had any desire for conversation, especially with someone who might press him on matters that were tearing his heart into slow, pain-filled pieces. Lord Kinsley, however, in his usual fashion, had refused to take his leave until he understood all that had taken place. Isaac had been forced to speak of it, to talk of it all but only with the promise that Lord Kinsley would not breathe a word to anyone – not even to Emily. It had been an agonizing conversation as he had fought to suppress the ache in his chest, clenching his hands in his lap as he had spoken of her cruelty, of her words of betrayal, which had torn at him like a thousand splinters digging into his skin. Now, however, Isaac considered it something of a relief that his friend knew of his situation. There was that understanding and compassion which soothed his present upset.
“I presume you would not speak to her of the situation?” Lord Kinsley asked, as Isaac glanced around the room, wondering where Miss Oldham might now be. “Would it bring you any comfort to go to her and ask what she meant by first accepting you and then rejecting you so soon thereafter?”
Isaac snorted, shaking his head. “No, I have no desire to go anywhere near to her. What would I say to her? Would I speak of my humiliation, my sorrow, my regret?” His lip curled.“I wonder if she would delight in that. Mayhap she took great pleasure in making me believe in her affection.”
His friend frowned. “Do you think she could be so callous?”
“I do not know her character, it seems, so it may well be.” Isaac shrugged his shoulders. “No, Kinsley, I do not want to hear any explanations. It would only make matters worse."
Lord Kinsley regarded him for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, with a sigh, he looked away for a moment before turning his gaze back to Isaac again. “I hear you say those words, but I believe that there is a part of you that longs to speak with her of what happened.”
The perceptive understanding struck at Isaac, making his scowl deepen.
“I think you long to understand the truth, and because you cannot, you replace your confusion with anger and frustration.”
Isaac threw out both hands, slicing the air between himself and Lord Kinsley. “You are wrong, Kinsley. I want nothing more than to forget her," he stated, trying to hold onto his resolve. “I should be looking to other young ladies, should I not? Indeed, I believe I want nothing more than to find someone who is a good deal more worthy than she, someone who will accept my heart with tenderness and genuine affection.”
With a small exhale, Lord Kinsley offered a measured smile. "If that is what you desire, then I will do what I can to help you. However, I still believe you are somewhat naïve if you believe that forgetting her will come easily, Coventry. If your heart has been holding fast to her for so long, it appears as if it does not want to release her.”
Rubbing at his forehead, Isaac set his jaw tight. “Perhaps you are right, but I must try to find some happiness. I am weary of the pain and the continual feelings of doubt and confusion.”
Lord Kinsley set one hand on Isaac’s shoulder. “Then I shall introduce you to a few ladies who might be a better match foryou than Miss Oldham.” He glanced about the room, his eyes widening briefly. “There, do you see Lady Annette and her sister, Lady Clara? They are both very fine young ladies, charming and genteel. Their father is the Earl of Tynecastle. Should you like an introduction?”
Isaac had nodded absently, though his mind was not entirely on the conversation. As Lord Kinsley led him toward the two ladies, Isaac could not help but glance over his shoulder toward Miss Oldham. To his surprise, she was not smiling as she had always done before, her usually vibrant presence now dull, her head slightly lowered. When her mother spoke to her, Miss Oldham briefly lifted her gaze, but the smile she offered was faint, almost forced.
Isaac’s heart twisted in his chest at the sight. It will be because of her father's passing, he thought quickly, trying to reason away the sudden discomfort in his chest. She is grieving, and that is all. There is nothing more to it. Yet even as he tried to dismiss it, a part of him could not ignore the fleeting glimpse of sorrow in her eyes.
He turned away and followed Lord Kinsley without looking back. He had to remember his resolve. As they approached Lady Annette and Lady Clara, Isaac forced himself to smile — a mask, nothing more.
