“Is everything all right?”
The loud, almost boisterous tone of her elder brother, the new Lord Bedford, broke through the gentle understanding that had built between Christina and her mother.
“You are not afraid of the ton, are you?” he asked, his bright blue eyes wide with seeming astonishment. “Goodness me, Christina! You have already been in society once before, the year you made your debut. What could possibly be of concern to you now?”
Lady Bedford put a hand on her son’s arm, and immediately, a touch of red came into Bedford’s face. “A trifle too loud, mayhap?” she asked, as Bedford nodded and then stepped to the side, so her hand fell from his arm. “Let there also be understanding, my son, that your sister perhaps feels more than you might when it comes to the loss of her father. Her grief is different from your own, just as your responsibilities and duties differ from hers.”
Christina smiled quietly at this, knowing that her mother had spent many hours doing her best to keep her brother’s loud voice from echoing all around the room. He had always had a loudtone, even as a child, but now, in these settings, discretion was required. Whether Bedford would manage such a thing or not, Christina could not say.
“I did not mean to be in any way unsympathetic.” Bedford cleared his throat gruffly, then nodded to Christina. “If you wish, I can escort you around the room? Look, there are many acquaintances here and many who would be delighted to dance with you, I am sure. I can see Lord Granton here, and he was a favorite of yours before, was he not?”
“It is a kind thought, I thank you, but I am not quite ready to think of dancing.” Christina gestured to their mother. “Mama and I will walk together. Please, do not let us prevent your enjoyment of the evening.”
At this, her brother’s face split with a grin, his eyes twinkling, and Christina smiled back at him, knowing full well that her refusal of his request had brought him a freedom he might not otherwise have enjoyed.
“I thank you, my dear sister,” he said, emphatically as Christina took her mother’s arm. “I hope you find many excellent gentlemen to dance with. I will make sure to introduce you to a few of my friends. Lord Newfield might be an excellent consideration. I will bring him to meet you later.” He hesitated then — an unexpected pause in his usual flow — and his voice dropped a fraction below the room. “If you do not wish to dance, Christina, you have only to say so. No one will press you. Not tonight.”
At the mention of gentlemen, Christina’s heart dropped to the floor and then shot back up to her chest, making her snatch in a breath as she fought a wave of queasiness. Her anxiety leading up to this moment had been so great, she had feared she might either cast up her accounts or faint from the dread of it all, but as yet, neither such thing had happened.
That does not mean it cannot.
“I know that you will miss your father’s guidance,” her mother said, gently as the music began for the first dance. “I think, however, that we must focus our attention on the future. You must find a suitable husband and become mistress of your own house and estate.” She smiled at Christina. “If you can find a gentleman who adores you, then all the better. You must see how happy your sister is now!”
Christina nodded, pain breaking through her and sending hot tears to her eyes, tears that she quickly forced away. “I will always be glad that father was there to see her married.”
Lady Bedford said nothing, with mother and daughter sharing a look that spoke of both their pain at the loss of Lord Bedford and their happiness in the memory of him. Christina did not speak of the additional agony that rang like a bell through her, the chime spreading a vibration out to the very tips of her fingers. She had once believed that she too would be wed, shortly after her sister, and had things gone as she had hoped, her father would have seen her married. Instead, she had been left with an emptiness so great, it had swallowed her whole and even now, had not fully released her.
There was no understanding as to why he had stepped back from her. A letter, brief in its explanation, had told her they simply could not marry and that there was to be no further connection between them. That had been an agony enough, but to lose her father shortly thereafter had been an even greater pain. Fearful now of seeing him again, Christina dropped her gaze to the floor, fighting a sudden and overwhelming sense of panic that practically demanded that she flee.
“Perhaps we did return to society a little too quickly,” she heard her mother say, perhaps taking in Christina’s worried expression. “It has been nearly two years now, however, and if we waited any longer, I worry that society would label you asa spinster and your chance of happiness would be very slim indeed.”
Steadying herself as best she could, Christina put her free hand against her stomach for a few moments, taking in a long breath and then forcing her gaze upwards again. “I will be quite all right, Mama. I assure you.”
“Christina? Mama?”
Hearing a familiar voice but having no explanation for it, Christina frowned and looked to her mother, who was twisting around, looking for where the voice came from.
“I am delighted to see you both so surprised!” Sophie, her eyes dancing, threw her arms around her mother and then laughed aloud at the shock Christina knew was written on her face. “I did beg my darling husband not to tell you that we were coming to London also, for I wanted so very much to see the astonishment on your faces. I think I am quite satisfied now, however, for you both appear to be utterly overwhelmed!”
“Sophie.” Unbidden, tears returned to Christina’s eyes as she embraced her sister tightly. “I cannot quite believe you are here.”
“You were so very supportive when I was courting Lord Wickton,” her sister replied, grasping Christina’s shoulders and looking steadily into her eyes. “I wanted to do the very same for you.” A sparkle of tears flashed in her eyes. “Besides which, I was quite certain that our brother would be very distracted here in London and would not quite manage to provide the same support to you as our dear father did.” She looked to Lady Bedford, who had taken out a handkerchief and was pressing it to the corners of her eyes. “My desire was to be here for the both of you.”
“I cannot tell you of the joy that is in my heart,” their mother whispered, evidently quite overcome at the arrival of her eldest daughter. “To see you again after we have all endured so much sorrow and grief is a balm to my heart.”
Christina watched them embrace and, for the first time that evening, let a genuine smile settle on her lips. With Sophie beside her, she could face this.
“Thank you for such a lovely surprise, Sophie.” Christina grasped her sister’s hand. “You and your husband are both very kind to think of me.”
Sophie pressed her hand. “But of course. You are my only sister, and I want you to find as much happiness as I.” Looking over Christina’s shoulder, her eyes brightened. “Look, now, there is Lord Wickton. You will be able to thank him yourself.”
Christina turned her head, the smile on her face freezing and fixing itself in place as she took in not only Lord Wickton but also the gentleman beside him.
Lord Coventry.
She could not move, could not speak. Her eyes were fastened to him even though she begged herself inwardly to pull her gaze away.
He is just as I remember him.
