"Because I have mine also. The one I believed was from you." Her chin lifted with a quiet determination he had not seen in her before. "If neither of us wrote them, then someone else did. And that someone left traces in the ink, the paper, the handwriting. I want to see them side by side."
It was the first practical suggestion either of them had made — the first step from confusion toward investigation — and Isaac felt something shift in his chest. Not the aching tenderness of their reunion, but something sharper: the recognition that Christina was not merely someone to be loved. She was someone to think alongside.
"I will bring it," he said. "Tomorrow."
9
Christina looked over her shoulder to see Sophie waving one hand at her, ushering her on in her walk with Lord Coventry. They had decided to meet early in the hope that the ton would not be aware of their walk and tongues would not immediately begin wagging. Thus far, they had only met Lord Pennington, who had been out riding and had barely nodded at them, and two ladies in a carriage, out for an early morning drive. Christina had barely slept the previous evening, her thoughts having been too many and too overwhelming for her to bring her to a place of rest.
“I do not know what to say.”
She looked up at him, seeing the way his lips quirked. Her mind swirled in a fog of doubts and unanswered questions as she returned her gaze to the path, her hands clasped lightly in front of her. “It is difficult to know how to begin such a conversation, I quite agree.”
They walked on in silence for a few minutes more, the bright summer sunshine doing nothing to settle her thoughts. His profession of love to her the previous afternoon had been both astonishing and jarring, making her realize that despite her ownreturned affections, she dared not draw near to him again, not without fully understanding what and who had separated them before. What if such a thing were to happen again, but with even heavier consequences? They were in London, and a whisper here or murmur there might send her reputation to ruin even if she had done nothing deserving of it. It would certainly be enough to push her away from Lord Coventry and, in turn, bring disgrace to her family. She was too afraid of such consequences to return to his arms, even if her heart longed for it.
“You must have been heartsick when you received the letter I had supposedly written to you.”
Her throat constricted, recalling how the ink had blurred on the page as she had tried to read it the second time. “I did not understand. I tried to reconcile your harsh words with the gentleman I knew you to be, but I could not.”
“So you were left with the conclusion that I was not who I purported to be.”
With a nod, Christina glanced up at him again, seeing the darkness that swept into his eyes. “I had many thoughts, but in the end, I tried to make myself see you as a stranger, someone I had never really known.”
“I did the very same,” he admitted, his brow furrowed. “I came up with many reasons as to why you might have written such a letter, but, in the end, I declared to myself that your words of love had been false and, for your own reasons, you had been mocking me with the promise of affection and devotion.”
The words stung, but Christina let the pain quickly fall away, seeing the storm in his eyes and understanding the confusion there. It was the very same as she herself had battled. “I do not understand who wrote such letters.”
“Nor do I.” His eyes slid towards hers. “Did you tell anyone of our connection?”
She shook her head no.
“I – I may have mentioned that I had an interest in your company during a card game in Whites.” Lord Coventry winced. “I should not have done, given our agreement to wait until your sister was suitably settled, but at the time, I had such feeling for you tearing through me, I wanted to declare it to someone for fear that it would burst from my chest without my express consent!” Clasping his hands behind his back, his jaw worked for a few moments. “I thought nothing of it.”
Christina swallowed thickly, seeing the stiffness of his shoulders and the straight, taut way he held himself. “I cannot and will not place blame upon your shoulders, Lord Coventry.” When he looked at her, the tight knot beneath her ribs loosened a fraction. “We were both as lost in love as each other.”
Lord Coventry stopped walking and turned to face her. Christina’s heart quickened as his gaze studied her, only for him to drop his head. “I should not have said anything to anyone. Had I not, then perhaps I might have saved us both from this. Mayhap our future would be very different indeed.”
Her heart stopped for a beat at the sorrow so clearly expressed. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, to take his hand and press his fingers, just as she had done some two years ago, but she did not. Their connection was not as it had once been, and she had no determined hope that it would be so again.
“Christina?” Lord Coventry turned and, to her astonishment, offered her his arm. “Might you walk with me instead of alongside me?”
It was a simple gesture, often seen as the proper thing for a gentleman to do, but this, however, was something more than that. Her breath stilled as she reached out slowly, her fingers brushing his sleeve. When her hand settled on his arm, a jolt went straight through her, and she snatched in a quiet gasp. “I thank you.” Covering her strong reaction to his nearness as best she could, she began to walk alongside him through thequietness of Hyde Park. For a few minutes, she was taken back to the time when they had been lost in love and in hope, when they had been walking together without restriction, without concern or doubt. Now, she knew, she had all three to contend with.
“So what are we to do?”
Licking her lips, Christina dared a look up towards him, seeing the fervent hope in his grey eyes, the sunshine turning his brown hair to bronze. “I do not know.”
“If we wish to discover who set us apart, then we must find out who knew of our connection.”
“And how are we to go about that?”
Lord Coventry shook his head. “I do not know.” His eyes caught hers, burnished with silver. “If it were known that we were courting, then mayhap whoever it was might try to do the same thing again.”
Fear reared up over her, and she shook her head. “I cannot risk that, Lord Coventry. Letters kept us back from each other beforehand, but now, here in London, further, more severe measures might be taken by this individual.” Seeing him frown, she looked away. “All it would take would be a single rumor to wind its way through society. My reputation would be shattered.”
His jaw tightened. “Do you think that such a person would go to these extremes to set us apart?”
“I cannot say. That is what concerns me the most.”
