If you married a duke, you would have to be a duchess, and that would be a horrible fate. Forced to host balls and organize estates and…
Well, truthfully, Olive had little idea what being a duchess actually entailed, but she’d warrant someone like Tiffany did. Hopefully, someone else would be paired with the duke of Cashard this evening.
“Nay,” Lady Athena said sharply, standing suddenly. “For the last time, I have nae interest in dancing with any lords, dukes or otherwise.” She inhaled slowly and straightened her shoulders. “I am no’ looking for a husband.”
Olive saw Willow exchange a glance with Bonnie, and wondered if they knew why Athena was so adamant. Or why, perhaps, she didn’t participate in the full extent of activities at the house party.
“Besides…” Athena’s grin looked forced. “I will no’ be here for dinner or dancing. My father is escorting Lady Dumpkins again, my brother is content with his partner for the evening, and I amplanning on spending my evening at home with a juicy book and my—my favorite person.”
And who might that be?
Before Olive could work up the courage to figure out how to ask, Tiffany stood and changed the subject. “Ooh, what kind of juicy book? Is it more interesting than whatever Olive’s reading?”
Playing along, Olive scoffed and waved the journal. “Impossible.”Nothingcould be more interesting than the latestVaried and Harrowing Exploits of Aberdeen Jones…although she doubted her friends would agree. “These contents are quite scintillating.”
One by one, they began to rise. Hazel hummed, “Does your journal contain any stories about kissing? Tongues? Penises?”
As Willow scoffed and Bonnie snorted, Olive opened the journal, standing as she did so. She frantically flipped. “No, but therewasa study on a fetish in the shape of a duck from ancient Mesopotamia, and Ididnotice the fowl’s organ was erect?—”
“That foul fowl,” Tiffany giggled.
“Willow, do you remember when Cedar was regaling the family with the story of his duck-hunting experience?” Hazel began.
Laughing, Willow took up the story, slipping her arm through Olive’s as they drifted toward the door with the others. “And she informed the entire family that the male duck has a corkscrew penis!”
“And when I asked why,” Hazel explained over the laughter, she told me it was because the female duck had evolved a corkscrew vagina, except?—”
“—it corkscrews the other way!” Willow finished amid the peals of laughter.
Olive rolled her eyes.
“Honestly, you will never let me live that down, will you?” she muttered. “I was thirteen, and it is only logical that they corkscrew in opposite directions.”
Bonnie swooped in from the other side to link her arm with the one in which Olive held the journal. “I think it sounds as if young Olive was a curious student, and was interested in sharing something she had recently learned.”
Yes, that had likely been exactly the situation. Still, Olive sighed. “This is why I do not dance with lords. I know I tend to speak whatever I am thinking, and I know I tend to think about rather inappropriate things at inappropriate times.” Like duck penises and the uses for men’s tongues. “But I do not have any intention of stopping any time soon.”
“Excellent!” called Athena, waiting for them at the door. “I told my brother that, as he has finally been granted the honor of escorting ye to dinner tonight!”
For the first time she could remember, Olive’s mind went blank.
“Do ye see her expression, Hazel?” Athena was smirking as she pulled open the door. “Just what I was hoping for.”
“I… What?” mumbled Olive.
“Phineas has been nagging me to find a way to pair the two of ye.” Athena winked. “The Countess Dumpkins was finally obliging.”
Phineas Oliphant.
Tonight she’d be sitting with Mr. Phineas Oliphant?
As in,besidehim? Discussing things with him? Trying not to make a fool of herself in front of him?
Touchinghim?
Olive’s knees suddenly went weak, and she was glad for Willow and Bonnie’s support.
She’d been introduced to Athena’s older brother when she’d arrived, and had been willing to admit the man had been handsome. And charming. And had actually seemedinterestedin what she’d said.
