She thought about what Jessie said about Moira’s weekly visits. It had never crossed her mind to indulge herself like that – forty years of Fergus’s frugality were tough to shake off. But why not? She was still working and earning a wage, and her spending was negligible, other than heating and food. Their ex-council house was long paid off and it wasn’t as if she took lavish holidays. In fact, it wasn’t as if she took holidays at all.
So, yes, maybe she would go over to Jessie’s salon for a wee treat sometimes. Not weekly – that would be a stretch too far. Maybe every fortnight.
‘Is this where we’ve to come for the hairdo?’ a voice asked from the door, and Netta saw the smiling faces of the two Academy cleaners, Jean and Senga. The women usually worked at night after the Academy closed, or first thing in the morning before it opened, so Netta didn’t know them well, but she always left a plate of biscuits or buns out for them, wrapped, of course, with a wee Post-it with their names on, if she knew they were coming in.
‘Netta, it’s yourself!’ Senga declared. ‘Ah, you scrub up smashing.’
‘It’s all Jessie and Georgie’s talents. They couldn’t have worked a bigger miracle if they’d had loaves and fishes,’ Netta joked, as she got up from the seat and made way for the new arrivals. ‘There you go, ladies, it’s all yours. I’ll just go and put the kettle on… or would you like a wee Prosecco? Moira left a couple of bottles for the staff, and they’re chilling in the fridge.’
‘I’ll have tea,’ Senga said, and Netta almost bought it, when Jean cackled, ‘Senga McGlay, you have never refused wine in your life!’
Senga gave up the ruse, and her chuckle was contagious. ‘I know! I was just checking you were paying attention. A wee Prosecco would be just the thing, please, Netta.’
‘Two, love,’ Jean joined in.
‘Well, if this is that kind of party, better make it three,’ Jessie added. ‘And, Georgie, if you’ve got your phone on you, can you get a wee bit of ABBA on?’
Georgie shook her head, feigning woe as she rolled her eyes, and gestured to her mother. ‘Every single time. It’s like there’s a direct line in her brain between fizzy plonk and the soundtrack ofMamma Mia.’
Grinning, with a lightness she could definitely get used to, Netta made her way back up to the other end of the canteen and poured three Proseccos for the ladies and a water for Georgie, then added a box of Maltesers that one of the students had brought in for her as a wee goodbye present when their family moved lock, stock and barrel up to Fife last month.
She took the tray over, put it on the table next to where Jessie and Georgie were working, and allowed Georgie to spin her round to the chorus of ‘Super Trouper’, while Jessie sang along. It almost took her by surprise when one of her heartstrings twanged at the sudden thought that Jessie and Georgie had exactly the kind of mother-daughter relationship she’d always hoped she’d have with Mandy. How had she allowed that to go so wrong?
She deliberated that question on her way back to the temporary bar that was still only half set up. Thank goodness she’d come in early and left herself plenty of time. Or at least, that’s what she was thinking when she was bent almost double, getting another tray of glasses from a bottom shelf, and a new voice came into earshot. ‘Netta! Netta, is that you down there?’
The upset in the voice made Netta straighten up so quickly she nearly pulled a muscle. ‘Ava, pet, are you o…’ She was about to add ‘okay’ when she saw from the bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face that, no, Ava Strang was definitely not okay.
Netta’s mind jumped back to this morning, when she’d spoken to Ava’s mum, Kiki, on the Family Listening Line. Everything had definitely sounded fine. Kiki had even said that her girl was excited about tonight and looking forward to it, so what had gone wrong between then and now?
Netta was thankful for the sound of the hairdryer and ‘Fernando’ at the other end of the canteen, because it meant she wasn’t overheard, when she said, ‘Oh no, you’re not okay, love. Come and sit down here and tell me what’s happened.’
That bar set-up was never getting finished, but right now, it had slipped down the priority list, and even if Moira Chiles walked in here, Netta knew she’d understand. The students always came first in this building, and every other member of staff would do exactly the same thing.
Young Ava was usually a shy, quiet girl, who took her time to open up and share her feelings, but not today. Today, she spilled the whole story without even a hint of a prompt. Netta listened intently while she confided about her day, and told her a sorry tale about how her dad had decided not to show up… Netta kept the words ‘feckless arse’ inside her head, but she definitely thought them. Ava veered between angry and weepy as she told her the rest – how her mum had lied to her and covered up for him. Netta’s heart ached for them both, and she understood it all so much more than she should have. She could definitely relate. Hadn’t she been smoothing waters and making excuses for someone the last forty years? But how to explain that to a sixteen-year-old, who’d cried all her tears and was now sitting there looking completely dejected. The poor thing. Netta had developed such an affinity for her as they’d got to know each other over the last six months. She loved all the students, but she had such a soft spot for Ava. And for Kiki too. Now she had to navigate this in a way that would help them both.
‘Ava, don’t be too hard on her, pet. You know, it can’t be easy. I’ve got a daughter too, and sometimes she gets really upset with me…’
Ava dried her eyes and gave her a look of very obvious scepticism. ‘I can’t imagine anyone getting upset with you.’
Netta couldn’t help a rueful smile. If only she knew. ‘But she does. And it’s usually because she’s upset about something else and I’m the person that it’s easiest to take that out on. The thing is, if you keep doing that for too long, then it becomes a habit, until one day you realise that you’re not close to the person who loves you most anymore.’
Ouch. Even as she was saying it, that one hurt right in the heart.
Ava’s beautiful brown eyes were downcast now, so Netta carried on gently. ‘From what you’ve told me, I think the person you’re really mad at is your dad. And I think your mum was trying to protect you.’
Ava was staring at the table now. ‘Maybe. But she should have told me the truth. I’m not twelve. I can handle it.’
Another blow to the heart. Mandy was almost forty, and only today, for the first time, had Netta even hinted to her daughter that she hadn’t been happy in her marriage to Fergus. Why hadn’t she taken Mandy into her confidence at some point in the last couple of decades? Why hadn’t she been honest, shown her full self to her girl? The reason for that was yet another punch to the chest. Because, as Mandy had pointed out earlier, in latter years, her daughter already thought she should have left Fergus and gone off to live her best life. And if Mandy had truly known how unhappy she was, she’d definitely have lost all respect for her for staying. What Netta hadn’t realised was that Mandy saw the unhappiness anyway, judged her for it, and it had caused an unspoken rift between them, like two tectonic plates that just slowly moved apart over time until there was an ocean between them.
However, the self-reflection was going to have to wait, because right now, there was a sixteen-year-old who needed to hear the right words and Netta knew she had to deliver them. ‘The thing is, though, sometimes we don’t tell the people we love the truth because we don’t want them to hurt. Look at how upset you are over your dad letting you down. If your mum had told you earlier, then your whole day would have been ruined, and she wouldn’t have wanted that. Not today. I’m sure she knows how excited you are about tonight.’
Another realisation. Wasn’t Netta lying to this poor girl by omission too? She’d never told her that she spoke to Kiki on the Family Listening Line, because that would be a huge betrayal of confidentiality and trust. Rock. Hard place. Netta was having a slight panic that Kiki would come in, and they’d meet face to face. Her fear that her telephone support life and her real life would overlap was becoming dangerously close to coming true.
‘Do you want to give your mum a call and tell her that you’re here? She might be worried about you.’
Ava shook her head. ‘She’ll know I’m here already. She can track my phone.’
That made Netta feel better. And already, she could see that Ava’s initial rage and upset had calmed a little. Best thing that could happen now would be for Kiki to get here and maybe they could watch the show together and that would help get them back on solid ground.
