I’ve even typed it out a few times. But I never manage to hit send.
Before I can muster up the courage, I see Grey’s ugly face, choked and bleeding out in the grass, and I remember Elliot’s words, “a dampener or a cage.”
Those are my options if the Inquisition discovers the lie we’ve told. So instead, I’ve decided to set a clear standard.
We will be seen together, in public, at the start and end of every week, by no less than thirty people. He is allowed a singular embrace that lasts no longer than thirty seconds with no kissing of any kind. After which, I will allow him to walk me home.
I’ve decided the bike cannot be trusted. It is too easy to be confused by the gentle hum between your legs. Best to avoid it altogether.
In exchange for “letting” me walk to and from my classes without him looming behind me, I will inform him of my whereabouts. Which he never fails to remind me of.
And instead of feeding from him directly, I will use his cursed toy to feed myself.
It’s an ideal scenario, really.
All the perks of a boyfriend. None of the hassel. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, even as the hollow ache in my stomach continues to grow.
I am concerned it may soon become a fixture in my life. Right alongside the never-ending whispers and the unabashed stares—all-consuming hunger. Lovely.
I pick up my book and re-read the first three lines at least five times before I give up entirely, and as I look around the table, I see myself reflected back at me.
Kitty is sitting in front of me, book open, eyes unfocused, while Elsie sits folded awkwardly in her chair, picking at a spot of lint on her skirt.
I do not know what is wrong with either of them. Everyone seems to have secrets of their own these days. But if I had to put my money on it, I’d bet a man had something to do with it.
Who else could dull a woman’s shine so effectively?
They are so reckless with our hearts, you’d think they were being paid to destroy them.
“Ugh!” I groan, slamming my book down with a thwack. “Fuck them!”
Elsie and Kitty look at me then, confusion splashed on their faces, but it only takes a moment before they catch my meaning.
“For real!” Elise mutters.
“Yeah!” Kitty shouts. “Fuck ‘em!”
Elsie and I glance at each other, shocked to hear such foul words from Kitty’s pretty lips.
She clamps a hand over her mouth as she remembers where we are, but the wide-eyed look only adds to the absurdity, and we devolve into laughter, waving at the people around us in apology.
When the wheezing giggles finally stop, I don’t ask them what’s wrong. Instead, I offer a solution.
“Let’s go out.”
Kitty needs no convincing. Music and dancing aside, she loves a good brew. Combine all three, and she’ll never turn you down.
Elsie, on the other hand, tired as she is, requires a bit of bribery. In exchange for the pick of my shoe collection, she agreed to give me a few hours. And given the slow pace at which she’s moving, it was a bargain, if you ask me.
“Come on, Els,” Kitty snaps. “Stop dragging your feet.”
Kitty has very little patience for dawdling when there is a dancefloor in sight.
She snatches Elsie by the wrist and practically yanks her past the towering ogre positioned outside of Beta.
“I’m coming,” Elsie grumbles, shimmying sideways through the crush of bodies huddled at the entrance.
Kitty leads the charge as we weave through the crowd, baring her teeth at anyone who dares to block her path, which is more frequent than you’d think.
