“Fuck, you scared me. I don’t have a knot to help, but I do have lots of artificial ones,” he says. “I’m Ashley. My parents wanted a girl, and I’m almost that. Let’s grab you a basket so we can spend your money.”
“I’m more than fine with that. Thank you, Ashley.”
Bobbing his head, he walks me around with a basket. I’m pleased to see there are heating pads here, buttplugs that can be stuck in the freezer to cool down an angry, knot-less, swollen asshole, and a wide assortment of lube and toys.
I’m not always sure how much slick I’ll produce, so I prefer to pick up a bottle of lubricant just in case. I think the lack of alpha presence affects me, because it sure wasn’t an issue when I was sucking Skylar’s cock in the locker room. That’s how pathetic I am, because I have no sense of fear around Skylar, even when he stole my oxygen.
In fact, it was really difficult for me to come with him. There must be something wrong with me. That has to be the reason.
Ashley also suggests a post heat sachet of herbs for a post heat bath before I check out, which I gladly accept. The post heat blues are the worst for me. I’m depressed for several days, while I pretend everything is fine.
“You just bought enough for a first heat arsenal,” he says slowly as he rings me up. “I’m a little confused as to why you’re doing that.”
“Between you and me, my apartment was flooded and I lost everything,” I explain. “No, I’m not processing the loss in the slightest. I’m just moving on and rebuying shit.”
“Well alright then,” Ashley says, biting his bottom lip as he rings me up.
The only big things I’m concerned about are my photos and sketches. However, I can easily ask my parents for more copies of them and my sketches aren’t a huge deal. The reality is that I wasn’t really living in that apartment. I was a ghost.
I’ve been in Minnesota for long enough that I need to set down roots. Losing everything should hurt more than this. It’s a risk of living, and I play it safe everywhere but on the ice. I need to follow my own advice.
The issue is all the odd things that are following me. I looked up my symptoms from the night at the bar, and I think I was drugged since my memory is shit on the details. My gut tells me it wasn’t Rhodes and Skylar. After my heat, I’m going to sit them down and ask them about it.
The worst that happens is they lie to me, and I have to walk away before I’m any more enthralled with them. Scent matches don’t mean shit if you can’t trust the alphas you’re with.
“Here are your bags,” Ashley says, making me realize that I paid him while spacing out.
“Thanks,” I say, my voice cracking from the frustration I’m feeling.
“Look, whatever this is, you need to figure it out. Toys don’t work forever,” he says gently.
“They don’t really work at all if I’m being completely honest,” I say. “They keep me from losing my sanity, but won’t help much once you’ve met your scent match.”
It’s something from my health classes I just remembered. All this prep is a path of stupidity because my body will crave the men I just left. Ugh.
It doesn’t mean I’m not stubborn and not gonna try, though. People go through their heats all the time. What I heard has to be bullshit, right.
Taking my bags with a tight smile, I march out of the store and get into my car.
Ready or not, I’m going to get food, work out until my legs are Jello, and then I’ll text my coach about being unavailable due to my heat. There are clauses in my contract that keep me from being fined for not performing. God, I love my agent.
She’s a damn saint, and I’m an obstinate omega who is still driving straight into a world of hurt.
CHAPTER TWELVE
RHODES
“It’s been hours,” I growl, walking into the practice center.
We’ve been calling Koen since he left the house with nothing more than a wave. He may have been tied to our bed for the night, but I knew he was safe there. Now?
I have no clue and that doesn’t sit well with me. To be clear, not only has it been hours since we last saw him, it’s now two in the goddamned afternoon, and there’s not been a single peep from our omega.
“When we find him, we’re going to chip him like a damn dog,” I add.
“Agreed,” Sky says, not even pretending to be even keeled today. “He just left without saying anything! I vaguely remember he said something about needing to use the bathroom, so I pulled the rope holding his wrists to the headboard and went back to sleep. Honestly, you or he could have been talking to me and I wouldn’t have known which one of you it was. I’m still pretty tired.”
“Same,” I sigh. I had to pull Skylar back from following Koen down the driveway since he was half naked and didn’t have shoes.
