‘I discovered it a long time ago.’ Luke smiled. ‘The trunk with her clothes is still there.’
‘Ah yes, the clothes.’ The memory brought a smile to Étienne’s face. ‘I remember the first time I saw her. The way she dressed. So different from the young Italian women back home. She reminded me of Madonna – the make-up, the lace gloves, the beads even the way she tied up her hair. She was so unique and different to any other young woman I had ever met. Like a butterfly, she flit among the young men, never letting anyone get too close to her. Although there was Scott Stevens,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘He was someone Gareth was constantly chasing away. I think he worked at the garage. Not the sort of man the Hunters wanted Selina involved with, although she insisted he was only a friend.
‘Anyway as I got to know her I realised she was two people – the free spirit who enjoyed being the centre of attention out on the dance floor at the clubs we visited and the real Selina, the quiet girl with dreams of what she could do; what she could become. She loved art and told me in an ideal world she would have loved a career as a designer but your grandparents saw no point. She was destined to become some wealthy young man’s wife. Education? Pointless as far as they were concerned. I disagreed. I encouraged her dreams, bought her the cuff which you now wear,’ he nodded towards Luke’s wrist. ‘The inscription was her mantra. A reminder she could do anything she wanted. That the opportunity was there for her to reach out and grab hold of.’ He stopped for a moment to take a mouthful ofbrandy before continuing. ‘Getting close to her pulled me into something I had not anticipated. An emotional bond formed between us. An attraction so powerful, so totally overwhelming. I fought it. Told myself it was wrong; that it could not happen. So I deliberately kept my distance, telling myself this was foolish, a summer crush and nothing could come of it. Everything was fine until my last evening here. I found her walking on the beach alone in the moonlight. She was dressed in white. She looked like a sea spirit. I do not even remember how we ended up making love in the dunes, only that we did.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘It should not have happened.
‘Your mother was a very special young woman trying to find her place in the world. She deserved a chance at happiness.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘But it was not to be. She was failed by many. Me most of all.’
Chapter Thirty-Three
Étienne took a deep breath and got to his feet.
‘A top up?’ he asked, reaching for the brandy bottle.
Luke nodded and handed over his glass, amazed at how calm and clear-headed he felt. He had expected the Italian to tell him Selina had thrown herself at him and what had occurred had been her fault because of her reputation. Instead, he saw both of them as victims of circumstance.
With a fresh glass of brandy, Étienne settled himself back in his chair.
‘After that night I never saw Selina again,’ he said, his dark eyes gazing thoughtfully at Luke. ‘The next day I returned to Italy full of guilt that I had let things go too far. Afterwards, I had gathered up my clothes full of remorse at what I had done. We had not used any protection either, but Selina told me not to worry. She told me she was on the pill. I believed her. I had not been her first and somehow that disappointed me because I had always hoped her reputation was a sham; merely a weapon she used to shock her parents. Looking back, I guess that was a little naive of me. Anyway, as Ruan and his family waved me off I wondered … hoped … I might catch a glimpse of her, maybe waiting by the main gate on that ancient bicycle she cycled about on. Sadly, she was not there.
‘Three weeks went by and I never heard from her. I wrote to her, care of The Smugglers, as she had asked me to, when we agreed to keep in touch. I used the letters to encourage her to continue with her dream and hoped she was by now enjoying the design course she planned to enrol on. I received no response. Then I got caught up with work and preparations for my wedding. By the time I contacted Ruan again it was nearly Christmas. I asked after Selina, sure by now she wouldbe immersed in her studies. You can imagine my shock when he told me she had married Ross Carrack. I could not believe it. Why would she do something like that when I’d convinced her she could follow her dreams? The bracelet I gave her had become her talisman; a reminder that ambitions can become a reality. Ross was a lonely young man and I think Selina felt sorry for him. But she had always insisted theirs was only a close friendship – although I know from the way he looked at her he would have liked it to have been more. Ruan said there had been rows at home and she had left in late October to live with him. By the New Year the whole village knew the reason for the hasty marriage that followed: she was having Ross’s baby. I still couldn’t work out why she’d thrown her life away like that. Ruan told me about her secret relationship with Scott Stevens and how he had suddenly left the area. Then I understood. He had got her pregnant, and abandoned her, and Ross, who adored her from afar, had married her to limit the scandal. So that was the end of things, and I closed the door on Selina, married Isabella, and got on with my life.’
‘And you didn’t once hear from her?’
‘No.’ Étienne gave an unhappy smile. ‘I kept in regular touch with Ruan and always asked after her. It seemed she was settled with Ross, although there had been no more babies. Time went by and then Ruan called one evening to tell me Ross had been killed. He assured me Gareth would take care of you and Selina. And then less than a year later, another call to say she, too, had died.
‘I was stunned. I thought of the girl I had known back in 1989. It made me sad to think her life had ended like that. I wondered what would become of you. Ruan told me Gareth had taken you in. I could imagine what Evie thought of that. In the summer of 2005 I managed to get time off to bring Isabella to the UK to meet Ruan and his family. During our stay we wereinvited to lunch with Gareth and Evie. For some reason you did not want to eat with us. But I longed to meet you; to see Selina’s son. So Gareth took me up to your room.’
‘Yes, I remember.’ Luke recalled the occasion. Yet another family lunch Evie insisted he should not attend.
‘That was the first time I saw you.’ Étienne smiled. ‘For all those years, like everyone else, I believed Scott Stevens was your father. But as soon as I walked into that room and saw your face, features that almost mirrored my great-grandfather Stefano’s, I realised the truth.’ He shook his head and took another mouthful of brandy. ‘I will never know the reasons your mother decided to keep you a secret; she took that with her to her grave. I could do nothing about the past, for me it was making sure that from now on you were provided for properly. And so I phoned Gareth and asked if we could meet. I told him everything I have just told you. I even insisted on a DNA test to prove my claim.’
‘Was he very angry?’ Gareth had always had a reputation for being punchy and Luke wouldn’t have been surprised to learn he’d hit Étienne.
‘As much as he blamed me for my weaknesses, I think he blamed himself for not being there for her during that summer; for letting Evie distract him,’ Étienne answered quietly. ‘Anyway, we came to an agreement which meant I would make regular maintenance payments to support you. And that is what has been happening ever since.’
‘Did Isabella know about me?’
Étienne shook his head. ‘Absolutely not. After several years of trying for a baby, tests showed Isabella was unable to conceive. It was a very sad moment for both of us not to be able to have a little one of our own. If she had discovered I already had a child with someone else she would have been devastated. No, I did the right thing to keep this knowledge from her. She died last year: cancer.’
‘I’m so sorry. You must miss her.’
‘I do, very much, but I also realised life had to go on. So I tried to decide how and when to approach you. I felt you had the right to know the truth. Six months after Isabella’s death I came here on a visit. It seemed like a good time to do this. But I could not bring myself to tell you, the pain of my loss was still too great. And since then, as you know, it seems the whole world has been turned upside down. The murder, your romantic troubles with Cat. But now, tonight, when I learned you were back together again I thought, yes, now the time is right, but unfortunately before I could do so fate intervened. This situation, you and me here like this, was not how I wanted it to be, but there we are.’ He paused for a moment, deep in thought before he continued, drawing his lips into a thin disapproving line. ‘Gareth has much to answer for. I cannot believe he abandoned you when you were arrested. When I had already sent money for your legal support.’ He sucked in an angry breath. ‘Giving in to Evie’s demands yet again, and all the time she was responsible for what had happened to Marika. Such a cold, cunning creature, pushing the blame elsewhere and at the same time ridding herself of the last connection to Selina: a perfect solution for her. And now, we ask ourselves, what happens next? The story has been told, so I guess it is all up to you.’ Étienne shrugged, his gentle brown eyes fixed on Luke. ‘I will respect whatever decision you make. I realise what you must be going through at the moment. Everything you believed has been swept away and it is totally my fault because I hesitated. I should have come forward before … but in my defence, as soon as I knew you were mine I made sure you were supported, that you wanted for nothing. From that moment I took responsibility for you, the child Selina gave me.’
‘It has been a huge shock. But a lot of things are much clearer now,’ Luke replied softly. In this room, listening toÉtienne’s story, he had grown to like this gentle Italian. ‘I’ve learned more about my mother today than I have ever done from Gareth. And as for what happened, you can’t help who you fall in love with, can you?’
‘As you fell in love with Cat?’
‘I did, and tonight for a brief moment I had her back. But now everything is so badly broken I don’t think it can be put back together again.’ Luke stared at his hands. ‘I was foolish and I kept things from her but now I find she’s done exactly the same to me.’
‘No,’ Étienne argued. ‘She only found out by chance a few weeks ago. Did you hear her say she saw the painting in my room?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘I assure you, before then she had no idea.’
Luke smiled. ‘I appreciate your loyalty but—’
‘It is not loyalty, Luke, it is the truth,’ Étienne insisted. ‘I have worked with Cat for a year now and she is not only a wonderful, caring young woman, she is totally honest. And more than that, I know she has never stopped loving you.’
