“I’m still scared,” I admit quietly, staring at the glowing lights. “About being with someone like Kirill. The danger… the secrets… the way he can just disappear and I’m left wondering if he’s even alive. What if I can’t handle it? What if I’m not strong enough?”
I take a big breath and then exhale.
It felt good to get that off my chest.
Eddie reaches over and squeezes my hand. “We all felt that at first. I still do sometimes. But the upsides… they’re so much bigger than the downsides. Viktor makes me feel safe in a way no one else ever has. He takes care of me. He corrects me when I need it, but he also cherishes me. The scary parts are real, but so is the love.”
Landon nods, his voice soft and reassuring. “Ivan is the same. He’s deadly when he needs to be, but with me he’s gentle.Patient. He lets me be Little without shame. You’ll find your balance with Kirill too. It takes time, but it’s worth it.”
Their words settle over me like a warm blanket. I feel the tension in my chest ease a little more. Maybe they’re right. Maybe the fear is part of it, but so is the incredible way Kirill makes me feel protected, wanted, seen.
I’m starting to smile again when Bobby steps into the room, his face serious.
“I just got a message,” Bobby says quietly. “There’s going to be a full-scale assault happening imminently. Kirill and the others are moving now.”
The playful atmosphere vanishes instantly.
I feel my stomach drop. Eddie and Landon move closer, and the three of us huddle together under the blankets, arms wrapped around each other. Brando is squished between us.
My heart is racing again, but this time I’m not alone.
Bobby sits on the edge of the tent, keeping watch but staying close enough that we can feel his presence.
“It’ll be okay,” Bobby says, though I can hear the worry in his voice too. “They know what they’re doing. These are great men, experienced. No one fucks with them and gets away with it. This time will be no different, got it?”
I nod, but inside I’m terrified.
Kirill is walking straight into danger—maybe the biggest fight of his life. All I can do is wait here, surrounded by new friends who understand exactly how I feel.
Eddie rests his head against mine. Landon squeezes my hand.
“We’re here,” Eddie whispers. “Whatever happens, you’re not alone.”
I close my eyes and hold onto that.
Kirill has to come back to me.
He justhasto.
Because now that I’ve admitted it out loud… that I want to be part of his life, danger and all… I don’t think I can go back to a world without him in it.
Chapter 21
Kirill
The docks are shrouded in darkness, the only light coming from a few flickering security lamps and the distant glow of the city skyline. I move silently with six of my most trusted soldiers, each of us armed and focused.
The air smells of salt water, rust, and oil. Somewhere ahead, in one of the old warehouses, the cartel has stashed a major shipment of weapons, enough to arm a small army for their planned assault on the city.
This is very real now.
I know there is no going back.
Every Pakhan will go through this during their reign. Probably more than once. But somehow this feels different to how I expected, like there’s an extra pressure on this. If we lose, I know that the family will be razed to the ground by the cartel, perhaps so badly that they will never be able to climb up in the world again.
I need to succeed here. There is simply no other option.
We approach from the shadows, keeping low behind shipping containers. I signal to my man as we advance, so far undetected, and ready to make a move at my command.
