These are my alphas.
Acting out my words.
I’m going to die. Death by arousal, I do not want that written on my headstone. But the aroused scent of alphas is a death sentence to my self-control. My mouth is watering, and I keep breathing deeply to get as much into my lungs as I can. They are the sweetest, most delicious blend of anything I’ve ever smelled.
Sebastian is hard beneath me, and every movement makes me hyper-aware that I’m just making it worse for both of us. Katsu is a controlled but generous lover; his hands slide all over Fox, caressing, stroking, bringing pleasure. Fox is putty in his hands, responsive and needy.
Would he make those sounds for me?
When Fox comes, Katsu follows, but he doesn’t knot him. I’m almost disappointed. The reality of them finishing brings a single thought. What have we done? Post-nut panic, I think this is called; that’s what Sofia said it was.
I’m never going to be the same. That was a line, we crossed it, and I loved every second of it. Already my fingers itch to get to the laptop, to start hammering out more scenes.
I get up, and this time, I walk out the back with shaking legs, needing air. Needing to breathe. Trying to get the hammering of my heart to slow down.
Sebastian follows me.
“Why did you do that?” I ask, my voice brittle, loud, hungry. So hungry.
He grabs my arm and spins me around. I bounce off his chest and snarl as I step back from him. I’m so frustrated and needy, and yes, a tiny part of me is a little scared.
“Because you needed to know what is going to happen. And I needed to know.”
“Just because I’ve never had sex doesn’t mean I don’t know what happens.”
“I’m not talking about the mechanics; I’m talking about you and me. And me and them. And us and you.”
He steps closer, and I tremble. “I want to bite you, Cordelia. Do you know that? I don’t just want to have sex, or knot you, I want to mark you inside and out, make you mine. You’ve been mine for so long, and we’re just one step away. Are they a part of us? Are they the pieces that make us work? I have all thesequestions, all this confusion about the future, but the only thing I know for certain is that getting up and fighting with you has been the thing that keeps me going, the only thing that makes me happy. Secretly being your friend has been the best time of my life. But I want more. I am done waiting. You needed to know what I want. You needed to see what I’m going to demand.”
He keeps coming closer and closer until I have to tilt my head back to see his face. He looks big and stark and a bit frightening, but he smells like mine.
“We’re dating, we said we’d try dating. You’re going too fast,” I mutter in a feeble protest. Not fast enough.
“Do you remember the night we kissed?”
I nod. “I could never forget that night, even if you wanted to.”
“I didn’t want to forget it, Cordelia. Sofia had just left; everything was going wrong. I was moving out, and Mum wasn’t coping, and we were sitting on the porch. I remember how upset you were.”
“And you kissed me because you felt sorry for me.”
“No, no!” he growls and cuts the sound off. “No, that wasn’t why I did it. I was selfish. I wanted you. But you were upset about Sofia, and I knew your mum’s finances were bad, and you had so much going on. I felt so bad for putting that pressure on you.”
“So, you said it was a mistake.”
“Honestly, the words came out with the right intention but the wrong meaning. I have regretted those words, not that night, just those words, since the day it happened.”
“That’s what started our feud? I thought-”
“I know, and I let you believe that. I wanted you angry because I couldn’t handle you being sad and not being able to do anything. So, I just irritated you, over and over.”
I don’t believe him. Do I? I don’t know. It’s just so Sebastian.
“That was when I knew what we were,” Sebastian says, reaching up and brushing my hair behind my ear. My stomach flips wildly, and I get this feeling that I’m falling, but I’m not scared.
“And what are we?” I ask softly, feeling like I want to cry all of a sudden.
“We’re endgame.”
