I have known him forever. He’s my best friend, Sofia’s, older brother and my next-door neighbour. He’s the bar that no other alpha has been able to measure up to. One of the main reasons leaving Sunshine Cove is untenable, he’s the alpha who invades my dreams, the one who keeps me fired up; the tears I shed are his.
The Sols and the Lakes have been in Sunshine Cove for generations. Friends. Family, and neighbours. And I felt like that; I really, truly did. Until Sebastian.
“How is Sofia?” My mother asks. “Is she still enjoying pack bliss?”
“Oh, she is ridiculously happy. But nothing is the same. She was gone too long, and things have changed,” Sebastian grumbles. “She completely skips her chores, especially doing the dishes and the weeding. I’m having to pick up all the slack, Julia, it’s not fair.”
“And Devon was your best friend, is that weird?” I toss out, trying like hell to get rid of that smile that’s making my legs weak.
“Not at all. But four years was a long time. People change,” he says and stares at me like he knows what I’m thinking.
I agree with that, but more importantly, I’ve changed. I’m not jealous, I’m happy for her, but the hope, the expectation that I would somehow come back into the feeling that I was family and that I belong here has pushed me out even further into a world of isolation. Sofia fits, but I don’t know if anyone really knows me.
I’m floating, lost, and I have been for a long time. I don’t know how to find my way back. I have two sides, the one they all see, and the one they don’t.
“Oh, Sebastian. Are you going to join us for soap making.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” he says to my mum.
As much as I try to loathe Sebastian Sol in public, I can’t. He makes my mother happy, and that is something I can never hate him for. My mother isn’t for everyone. I’ve heard people call her a hippie, a free spirit, but those are the kind versions. Witch, irresponsible, kook; those are the versions I wasn’t supposed to hear. I know what people say, and I protect her because my mother is the sunshine in Sunshine. She just radiates joy.
“Have you seen my project, Sebastian? It’s going to be amazing. I want to make a natural line of products with natural dyes. That’s where the soap comes in.”
“You are brilliant, Julia!” he says, and he means it.
He spins her around, and she lets out a happy giggle.
“You look prettier every day. But the flowers are an extra touch, I love it.”
I fold my arms over my chest and watch him smarm his way into my mother’s graces. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a flash of sun glare on one of my favourite photos. The photo is of me and Mum standing with a massive chocolate palomino gelding.
Without a word, I slip into the hallway, needing to escape this sickening betrayal.
“I’m going to see my baby,” I say, waiting for anyone to care. They don’t.
When Sebastian is around, no one notices anything else. Half the girls at school were in love with him. The tourists come to Sunshine Cove and follow him around. He entertains them sometimes.
“Okay, I’ll be back. Maybe. I might also run away. It’s fifty-fifty. Could take up the trapeze and join the circus!”
I glance back at Sebastian kneeling in front of my mother, looking at whatever she’s showing him. He’s completely absorbed in her story.
He doesn’t even notice me.
I walk out the back and up to the paddock, grumbling about that particular Sol.
“Gale, baby!” I shout.
I tuck my shoulders as the brisk air and chill hits and wait. Winter’s Gale or Gale lets out a ringing call and canters down towards the gate. I slip inside and walk towards the stables, waiting for him as he tosses that beautiful white mane of his. He’s a stunning chocolate colour and was a gift from my mum when I was fifteen. Gale is the love of my life and the freedom I can’t have.
He stops in front of me, stamping a hoof and snorting in my hair. I wrap my arms around his thick neck and inhale that horse smell that I never get sick of. It’s comfort, companionship, and love all in one big, giant, beautiful horse.
“Shall we call it a day, then?” I murmur to him. “The gallery can wait until tomorrow. I just want to spend time with you.”
He pulls away and offers me his back.
I shouldn’t. I don’t have time, but I need to fly. With a chuckle, because how can I refuse such eyes, I walk to the fence, climb up as he approaches, and when he gets close, I grab his mane and pull myself up.
He takes off.
