“No, it’s not,” Sofia growls with a hint of teeth. “If it were controlling, he’d be dictating, and he didn’t ask me to do this; I volunteered.” Sofia turns to me. “Have they asked you to do anything?”
I shake my head. “They don’t know I’m Lynn, or at least I don’t think they do, but I saw firsthand what it was like today for them. They didn’t ask for this.”
“Can you change the character’s descriptions?” Lorelei asks.
I shake my head.
“End the series early?”
I sigh heavily. “To be honest, I’d planned for there to be five books. I mean, I could, but there’s a lot that would be rushed in the next book.”
“What would happen if you retired Lynn Marino?” Lorelei asks.
“Well, it all goes away. It gets silent. I get to have my alphas, and she just goes away.” The idea is like someone I love dying.
“I vote for letting Lynn go,” my mum says. “Sorry, baby, I know you love her.”
“I agree,” Sofia says softly. “You can start another penname. Your career isn’t over.”
“Let her rest. These relationships are forever,” Lorelei says gently. “You will understand when you have bonds.”
I turn to Asher.
She bites her bottom lip and looks down at the table. “I agree with them. Lynn isn’t the end, but it does hurt them.”
Felix is the only one who has stayed silent this whole time. I look at him, waiting. He sits forward and frowns a little.
“I think art is the expression of the soul.”
With that, he stands up and walks out, ignoring Asher’s exasperated calls for him to return.
I stand up. “Will you be all right here? I need to go check on Imogen and Gale, but I’ll be back.”
“Good luck making your decision,” Lorelei says softly. “We are all very, very happy for you.”
I wave and escape, feeling like if I have to stay there for one more second, I might cry.
Imogen and Kady are up with Gale and her grey, stocky mare, Mouse. I check in with them and then go upstairs and turn on my computer.
I look at everything I’ve accomplished. The emails from fans that I’ve kept in a folder. The hundreds of emails with Bas. My rankings, my earnings. The first hundred dollars I made. All my accomplishments, all because of Lynn.
“Goodbye, Lynn, I want to be with them, and I want to be happy. I don’t want to see them hurt. This is the right thing to do.”
I crack my knuckles and look at where to start. The sooner I get it done, the better.
Chapter 32
Cordelia
Deciding what to wear took too long. In the end, I settled on a lavender long-sleeved top, skinny jeans, boots, and a long jacket that is a cream colour in heavy tartan fabric. Who knew that I would be this stressed about what clothes I chose to wear for the start of my new life.
Possible new life.
I’m late.
I don’t even know how it’s possible, but somehow, in the whole choosing the perfect outfit that suddenly nothing felt perfect about, time slipped away.
I’m scrambling down the stairs and rushing out of the house imagining Lorelei starting everything. She will call them up, and I won’t be there. How could I be late?
