The answer to which is ‘this much.’
Katsu carries me home. He’s big and strong. I fling my arms wide, overbalancing, but he catches my weight, refusing to let me fall.
“My mum made me a matchmaker!” I howl. “How can I possibly match anyone? I do everything wrong.”
I wriggle and try to escape, but it’s impossible. Sebastian can be heard yelling from the street.
I cock my head and listen to him set out a blistering lecture on his parents. I don’t know who I’d bet on to win, but Sebastian storms out, slamming the door, ignoring his mother, who rushes out, calling his name.
Fox unlocks our house and watches as I’m dumped on the couch. I wriggle off and lie on the floor, staring at the vaulted ceiling. I really love this house and all the wood. It’s a warm house. It feels cozy. But in summer, everything opens up, and it’s light and airy.
“We could raise kids here,” I whisper. “Lots of kinds. Like a whole basketball team.”
Fox appears upside down. “Let’s worry about sleep before we worry about offspring.”
“Sleep, I don’t want to sleep. I want to fly.”
I spread my wings, oops; I mean arms, only to bash them into the couch on one side and the coffee table on the other.
“You can fly into bed right now,” Katsu growls. “Sit up and drink this.”
“No, I don’t want water.”
He shakes his head, picks me up, and sits down with me curled up on his chest. I lay there listening to his heartbeat, feeling the way the rhythm of his life slows the chaotic panic of mine.
He strokes my hair and holds me tight; he never takes his eyes from mine. He just watches me like I’m something important, like I’m someone precious.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I admit finally.
“You won’t lose me.”
There’s a knock at the door, and Devon stalks in. He and Sebastian have a terse conversation full of spikey anger, and then they leave. I want to call out for Bas to come back, but the room is spinning.
“Fox?”
“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, and he appears with a glass of water that he helps me to drink.
I stare up at him, remembering the panic and fear on his face when the preorder went live.
“You’ll hate me.”
He smiles. “I won’t.”
“You will. Some days, I hate me, too.”
And with that, the world swirls a little harder, and I fall into the dark oblivion of sleep.
I wake up with a start, with a horrible memory of Lorelei making Sofia and myself matchmakers. My head spins, and my stomach twists violently. I climb out of bed and go to the toilet, cleaning up and washing my face with water.
I look like shit.
Memories start filtering. I remember drinking with Sofia. We did it too fast. That bottle should have been drunk over several hours, not half an hour. It was fun, though.
I creep into the kitchen and reach for a glass, only to stop when I see a bottle and two painkillers.
“Thank you,” I say with heartfelt gratitude.
I stay in the kitchen, wincing as more and more memories return. When I can’t stand it, I go out onto the balcony. The night is freezing, and the world is quiet, like every single creature is tucked up in bed, asleep.
