Luca was wrong about many things, but not about this. I had no business reaching for something real when I could barely keep the rest of my life from splintering apart. Look what I’d already done. To Luca. To Ethan.
I couldn’t do it. Not like this.
It was too soon. Too unfair to him.
So I did the only thing I knew how to do when the ground shifted beneath my feet.
I pulled everything back under control.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ETHAN
Iwalked into the apartment, straight to my room, and dropped face-first onto the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut against the burn gathering there and pulled in a deep breath to calm myself down.
It didn’t work.
Fucking Sebastian Langley. Why did he have to be so goddamn stubborn?
“Hey,” Henry’s voice came through the door, followed by a knock and the soft creak as it opened. “How’d it go?”
I pushed myself upright and faced him.
His shoulders sagged the second he took in the expression on my face. “Oh, fuck. What did he say?”
My gaze dropped to my lap, a dry laugh slipping out. “That we’refriends. I don’t think I’ve ever hated that word more.”
“Aw, babe, I fucking hatethis.”
“Don’t.” I slumped back on the bed, rubbing my hands hard over my face, hoping it might wipe the sting of tears away. “I knew this was going to happen.” My lip wobbled anyway, and I bit down on it, trying to keep it together.
The mattress dipped as Henry sat beside me. “Maybe a little time…”
“He doesn’t needtime,” I muttered into my hands. “What he needs is a glass of ice water to the face. Something to shock him out of whatever delusional restraint he’s clinging to.”
Henry huffed. “That would be fun to watch.”
My stomach twisted painfully. All I could think about was last night—the way his body had given in to mine, the urgency in his mouth, the way he held me like he’d been starving for it. Compared to that, the stiffness from earlier felt like a punch straight to the gut.
“Why doesn’t he ever choose me?” My voice came out small.
The mattress dipped beside me, Henry’s fingers settling gently on my head. “E, Ash always chooses you.”
My face tightened into a frown.
“I don’t know what’s going through his head right now,” he said. “But don’t ever think it’s because he doesn’t care.”
I turned onto my side, finally looking at him. Henry was propped on his elbow, brows drawn, expression soft.
“I want to hurt him,” I said quietly.
His eyebrows shot up.
“Not like that.” My eyes drifted to the ceiling. “I want him to realize he’s making a mistake. I don’t want to be the one—” I shook my head. “I wanthimto beg. Not me.”
Henry shrugged, face scrunching thoughtfully. “I mean, I guess I get that. Sounds fair.”
“I’m so mad at him. Why the fuck didn’t he break up with him?”
