We’d stayed in touch for a while, neither of us ready to let go, clinging to calls and messages that had only highlighted what we no longer had. I’d told myself it was enough, that hearing his voice was better than silence, but then the whispers in my head had turned into screams. Every look from strangers had begun to feel like pity or judgment, and the distance between us had become more than miles; it had been a wall, impossible to cross. I’d felt him slipping away, and the slow inevitability of it had destroyed me.
So I’d asked him to let me go. To let me erase him.
And, being Sebastian, he’d taken me at my word.
Then he was really gone.
But his influence had lingered in everything.
Sebastian had given me my drive—my ambition, my hunger for power. I admired how certain he’d been, how easily people followed him, and how commanding he was without even trying. I’d wanted that for myself. I’d gone from drifting to chasing, from aimless to determined.
He’d given me my confidence too. My humor. My edge. Sebastian had bulldozed through every wall I’d built and forced me to stop hiding behind what he called my Bennett politeness. I stopped worrying about keeping others comfortable, because he’d taught me how to take up space.
He had given me my preference for rough sex and older partners. I’d stopped fearing my sexuality, stopped overanalyzing every shift in my attraction, and just let it flow. I learned to embrace what I liked—what I craved—even when I knew I was searching for him in every touch. Trying, and failing, to recreate the spark he’d ignited in me with someone else.
Choosing to come to Madrid had been hard. I didn’t want anyone to think I’d done it to chase him—especially not him. I’d done it for myself. For my future. But standing there, wrapped in his arms, I knew he’d influenced this too. Just like everything else.
His lips brushed my temple. “Your hair is longer.” The words were soft, almost a caress against the raw edges of my soul.
A small laugh slipped past my lips. “I’ve had about a million haircuts since I last saw you.”
His hands—warm and sure—moved to my neck, tilting my face back so he could really look at me. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
I let my eyes trace his features too. “I can’t believe you’re almost forty. You look exactly the same.”
He grinned, a quiet laugh rumbling low in his chest. “You don’t.” His smile softened as his thumbs brushed along my jaw, his eyes following the motion. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to be even more beautiful than I remembered.”
The words landed hard—tight in my chest, then lower. His eyes met mine again, and time just… stopped. Everything I’d ever felt for him hit me like a wave, dragging it all back to the surface. None of it had dulled. None of it had faded.
“It’s so fucking good to see you,” Sebastian whispered.
The breath that filled my lungs felt shared, like we were breathing for each other.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let myself feel like this. My heart was making choices my mind couldn’t keep up with, willing to throw everything away if it meant having him again. It felt like I’d gone back in time—to when he was mine—and I was just as reckless. Just as lost in him.
My fingers trembled as I covered his wrists, holding him there. “I missed you too.”
The corners of his mouth curved. He leaned in until his forehead rested against mine, eyes closing.
I was free-falling.
He was so close. Finally, so close again.
He nuzzled his nose against mine in the sweetest, most disarming gesture, and I melted into putty in his grasp. This couldn’t be one-sided—it didn’tfeelone-sided. He had to be just as caught up as I was in this impossible rush of being near each other again.
Because this could be it, couldn’t it? We could finally giveusa real shot. Far from our families. Far from the cameras. Far from everything that had torn us apart. This could be our chance.
My tongue darted over my lips, and his gaze dropped to my mouth. I tilted my chin up in invitation, and he reacted instantly, his grip on my jaw tightening as he leaned closer, his breath ghosting over my lips. My stomach swooped, tingles skimming down my spine.
But then nothing happened.
Sebastian froze, the warmth between us flickering out.
A flash of confusion hit me first, then doubt. Maybe he wanted me to ask for it?
“Ash…”
The sound of his name barely left my mouth before his hands fell. He stepped back, eyes wide, blinking like he’d just woken up from a dream. I stood there, hands still open, grasping at the empty air between us.
