“I haven’t …” He hesitated. “I haven’t done this. With anyone else.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re the only one I’ve ever …”
The realization hit me before he finished. “Wait. You’re a?—”
He nodded, and I’d never seen him so uncertain before. It was as if he were preparing for me to walk away.
The air rushed out of my lungs, and I stumbled back a step, my hand dropping from his shirt. For four years, I’d tried to convince myself I was over him, that what we’d had was just some teenage bullshit. I’d dated, I’d slept around, I’d moved on. Or so I’d thought. And he … he hadn’t been with anyone else. The thought was so shocking, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Rowan, I …” I started, my voice cracking. “All this time ... you’ve never ... with anyone?” The words sounded stupid, but how could I even begin to talk about something so huge? I wanted to ask him why. But he didn’t seem interested in conversation.
A fierce look of determination crossed his face. Before I could say another word, he got down on his knees in front of me and lifted his hands to the waistband of my shorts. The sight of him there, gazing up at me with those intense hazel eyes, brought up so many emotions, but I pushed them down.
“We can talk about that later,” he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. “Right now, I don’t want to wait any longer.”
My brain short-circuited. All the questions, confusion, and years of history between us vanished. He wasn’t a boy anymore. He was a man who knew exactly what he wanted, and what he wanted was me.
He didn’t wait for a response. He hooked his fingers into my waistband and smoothly pulled my shorts and boxers down in one motion. I stepped out of them and kicked them aside.
Once they were out of the way, he bent forward and took me into his mouth. A choked gasp escaped my lips, and my hands flew to his shoulders to steady myself. The wet, velvety heat of his mouth was a shock to my system. I had memories of his mouth on me, but it didn’t compare to what was happening right now, his tongue swirling, his suction perfect. He was better. So much better. He moved with a confidence that hadn’t been there when we were teenagers. Or maybe it wasn’t so much his technique as it was the fact thathislips were stretched around my cock.
When he took me deep, his lips brushed against the base of my shaft, and I saw stars. I threw my head back, my eyes squeezing shut as waves of pleasure washed over me. It was almost too much. My mind, still reeling from his confession, tried to connect the dots. How could he be this good if he’d never been with anyone else? Or maybe it was just because I’d missed him so much that everything felt perfect in that moment.
I tangled my fingers in his hair, my hips beginning to move with shallow thrusts. “Rowan,” I breathed, a mix of warning and praise.
He hummed around me, the vibration sending a fresh jolt of pleasure straight to my core. The sight of his lips wrapped around me, his cheeks hollowed as he sucked, was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. That was it. I was done.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” I ground out, trying to pull back.
He wouldn’t let me. His hands gripped my waist harder, holding me steady, while his mouth took me deep. My orgasm hit me hard, like a tidal wave. With my body trembling, and my knees about to buckle, I yelled his name as I climaxed. He stayed with me through it all, swallowing every drop until I was completely drained.
Sagging against him, I felt boneless and breathless. He pulled back slowly before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand,then stood up. A smug and satisfied expression crossed his face and it hit me all at once how badly I’d missed this. Missed him. I was still angry; I was still not even close to over what he’d done. But none of that changed the fact that he was the only person who’d ever made me want more instead of less.
When I pulled him for another kiss, I could taste myself on his tongue. I poured all the gratitude and awe I couldn’t put into words into that kiss. When we finally broke apart, I was panting, but I wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.
Taking his hand, I guided him to the bed and stripped him out of his clothes before pushing him down to sit on the edge. I knelt in front of him, mirroring his position from a moment ago.
“My turn,” I whispered. “But not with my mouth. I want you to fuck me.”
His confident mask fell away to show the raw vulnerability underneath. “I’ve never …”
“I know,” I said softly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Standing up, I went to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I grabbed a condom and the bottle of lube, then turned back to him.
He kept his gaze fixed on me. The fear in his eyes gradually faded, replaced by a burning desire that matched my own. “Okay.”
I took off the rest of my clothes and knelt on the bed, turning my back to him and showing myself. I heard his sharp breath. I looked over my shoulder. “Come on.”
He moved behind me, his hands trembling a little as they settled on my hips. I coached him on how to prepare me with slick fingers. He got the hang of it quickly, and within seconds, I was begging him to get inside of me.
“I’m ready. Don’t keep me waiting any longer.”
He rolled the condom down his dick and pushed inside of me with a slow, careful thrust. I gasped at the initial stretch, butthe familiar burn quickly faded into a deep, pulsing pleasure. He paused to let me adjust.
“I’m okay,” I breathed, pushing back against him. “Don’t stop. Move.”
He began to pump into me, his movements tentative at first, but quickly found a rhythm that had us both moaning. I reached down and took my own erection in hand, stroking myself.
