“I don’t understand. Why?—”
“I love you so much, Harper. More than you’ll ever know.” My voice trembles. I curl a lock of her hair around my finger, taking every chance I can to touch her. “I’ve always wanted the best for you. I wish I could keep you wrapped in my arms forever, but my love for you has never been selfish. When you truly love someone, you never hold them back. You let them go and hope they flourish, even if parting ways hurts.”
A tear falls down her cheek. I wipe it away with mythumb. This moment feels like we’re breaking up all over again. Except it’s worse this time because there’s no security of us only being on a break. But I won’t let myself crumble.
“This is me letting you go, Harper. You have my blessing to be with Felix and there’ll be no ill feelings on my behalf. Be happy with Felix. Be his and only his. There is no you and me anymore.”
“Tyler…”
“It’s what I want. Both of us have been so unhappy without Felix in our lives.”
No sooner than I say the words, I realize this isn’t just about wanting Harper to be happy. I want Felix to heal from the disaster that spiraled from Paul Ferguson’s death. But this decision is about whatIneed too. IneedFelix as my brother again. Ineedhim as a friend.
“I’ll always have hope that you join us?—”
“Don’t hold onto hope, Harper. Don’t wait for me. You need to start your life with Felix.”
My lips press to Harper’s. It’s not a heated kiss, but soft and aching. A goodbye.
I taste salt, her tears or mine, I don’t know. When we pull apart, something inside me splinters but doesn’t break—because Idohave hope.
This won’t be our final kiss but she can’t know this. Harper needs to belong purely to Felix before there’s any chance of us sharing her again.
Iwillfix this mess. I don’t know how I’m going to mend my relationship with Felix, but I’ll make it happen even if it’s the last thing I ever do.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HARPER
“Felix knows how to put on a show. This place is impressive, right?”
The music in Felix’s cocktail lounge isn’t loud enough to block out Dan’s voice, but I barely hear him, in sensory overload, not knowing where to look first.
Limerence Land is like a fever dream. Some kind of futuristic garden. Dan and Ally tell me this is the legal face of Felix’s business and his speakeasy is hidden underground. Trees and grass grow inside. Flowers and vines wrap around every surface. People are swimming in a lagoon with tropical fish. LED lights pulse from beneath the water and along the walls, shifting colors to create a dreamlike state. Other customers are dancing to the music with a synthetic edge.
Ally laughs at my wide-eyed, speechless state. “I’d say she’s impressed.”
The cocktail lounge is magnificent. But not one part of this place has Felix written on it. The art of misdirection,I suppose, so authorities don’t discover the speakeasy.
“Are you ready to see Felix?” Dan asks me, threading his fingers with Ally’s.
A tremor of nerves rushes through my chest, reminding me of the real reason I’m here. Felix told me to find him once I’ve made my decision.
“Show me the way.”
I follow Dan and Ally, the three of us weaving through the crowded cocktail lounge. This is my first day back in the city after the engagement party. My feet ache from rehearsals today. I’m exhausted, having practiced non-stop for the upcoming season ofRomeo and Juliet.But I barely notice the fatigue. My body feels alight, being in Felix’s territory. I’m high on adrenaline, anticipating what awaits me downstairs and everything I’m about to tell Felix.
Within a few minutes, the crowd thins and we arrive at a narrow corridor tucked behind a curtain of vines. Dan draws back the vines and the three of us enter, following the corridor until we stand in front of a door markedUtility Closet.
The moment we step inside, I know we’ve arrived at the entrance to the speakeasy. This is no utility closet. The space is luxurious and with a vintage interior. Art Deco paintings line the mahogany walls. A velvet fainting lounge sits beside a large fern.
“There’s the doorway.” Dan nods at a mirror mounted to the wall.
I do a double take, looking back at him with confusion. “What doorway?”
“You’ll see. Knock on the mirror using the pattern I taught you.”
Taking Dan at his word, I step up to the mirror. It’s massive, framed in ornate gold carvings. My reflection clashes with the room, my short white dress too modern for the 1920s world I’m about to enter. My hair and stage makeup are still intact from rehearsal, and I haven’t had a chance to shower. But I’ve waited too long for this moment to care.
