As teenagers, they had a brotherly pact to open a speakeasy. Felix went ahead with the plans on his own. I’ve never visited his venue, knowing I wasn’t welcome. I don’t know a thing about the speakeasy. Not even its name. I don’t ask Tyler questions about the place since it’s a sore topic for him.
Although I’ve forgiven Tyler for the many truths he had to keep from me surrounding the cover-up of Paul Ferguson’s death, and although I don’t blame him for the loss of Felix in my life, I don’t think he’s ever stopped feeling guilty. Nor do I think he’s ever stopped worrying about the truth of Paul’s death surfacing.
Neither of us have ever fully recovered from the traumatic repercussions of Paul’s death. Once we lost Felix and the baby, I threw myself into ballet to cope, as did Tyler with college and taking over Josh’s business. But we’ve never truly been happy in our relationship without Felix.
Tyler has become withdrawn. He used to be close with all his brothers. Since the rift between him and Felix, he tells me he feels like an outcast. I’ve always worried about his wellbeing, even wondered if he’s depressed. I’ve asked him to speak to a therapist for help, if he won’t speak to me. He says there’s no point seeking help, not when he can’t talk openly about the root of all his problems—Paul’s death.
I miss the Tyler I fell in love with at eighteen. I misshim as my best friend and how happy we used to be when Felix was with us.
Three months ago, Dan proposed to Ally, triggering the break between me and Tyler. It was a mutual agreement, though he initiated it. Their happiness was a moment of deep reflection for us. Though we’ll always love each other, things just weren’t working.
Not one day has passed where I haven’t missed Tyler. He means everything to me. But there’s a hard truth we both finally acknowledged.
Tyler and I don’t work without Felix.
We’re on an indefinite break until Felix...ifFelix ever accepts us back. That’s our goal, to be a trio again.
“Are you okay?” Ally asks me, linking hands with Dan.
The sadness of my thoughts must be reflected on my face. I smile and nod. “I’m fine. Just wishing your fiancé didn’t look like a clone of one of the men I’m in love with.”
“Harper—” Ally calls as soon as I walk off. “Tell me the truth. Is being my bridesmaid too much for you? You’re not on good terms with two of the three groomsmen. I feel guilty for placing you in an awkward situation.”
“I love awkward situations.”
She laughs but there’s hesitation in her smile. Aside from Josh, Ally and Dan are the only people who know about my history with Felix and Tyler. I filled them in on the details, leaving out information about Paul’s murder. Dan has always been like a little brother to me. I’veknown Ally ever since she became one of the Blackwood children. We’ve never been close until these last two years. Now, she’s my best girlfriend.
I’ll be proud to stand next to her when she exchanges vows with Dan. I’m excited to help Ally plan her wedding. After everything the two have fought through to be together, I want to see them happily married.
The members in the wedding party will make this an interesting experience for me. Felix is Dan’s best man. Tyler and Killian are groomsmen. I’ll be in close quarters with my ex-boyfriends over these next two months, which I’m sure would be hell for most people.
But I want it so badly.
I’m desperate to be around Felix and Tyler even if it’s painful.
“Ally, nothing will prevent me from being your bridesmaid. Your engagement party will be incredible. It will be all about you and Dan, as it should be. I won’t let any of my personal issues interfere. This is what sisters and friends are for.”
“Stop,” she laughs. “You’re going to make me cry.”
Once leaving Ally and Dan’s side, I continue my search for Felix. The Blackwood beach house and its grounds are massive; it could take a while to find him.
Glancing out the window, I catch sight of the wedding planner in the garden, overseeing the setup of tonight’s party. A marquee is being built. Florists are transporting dozens of roses, and caterers are dressing tables. The weather is perfect, being early September.
The engagement party will be an extravagant affair, but intimate. Ally and Dan don’t want a circus. Noreporters. This isn’t to be a public event. All their wedding celebrations are reserved for close family and friends. It’s perfect and is exactly them.
The Blackwoods, as founders of Forever Families, are in the media a lot and not always in a positive light. Over the years, the four brothers have been scrutinized for reckless partying and gambling. More recently, it’s been the scandal of Ally and Dan’s relationship.
If the media thinks those two are scandalous, they’d have a field day knowing the relationship that took place between me, Felix, and Tyler. The three of us have always remained a secret, originally because I was ashamed of the relationship ruining my image. But after enduring the amount of heartbreak I’ve lived through, appearances mean nothing to me anymore. I couldn’t care less about my reputation.
Ishouldcare about my reputation, having achieved the career of my dreams. As a prima ballerina representing the most prestigious ballet company in the country, I’m supposed to act a certain way to uplift the company. But the public side of me—the sweetheart of ballet—is all for show. It brings surface level pleasure.
True happiness, truly being myself, that’s all I’m seeking in this world. The only time I’ve experienced either of those things was when Felix and Tyler were mine.
Ineedthem both in my life, no matter what it takes.
Once I’m downstairs and in the kitchen, I spot Felix on the back porch. Every time I see him, he’s dressed impeccably, in a style straight out of the 1920s. He’s always wearing tailored suits and gold cufflinks, withthe chain of a pocket watch hanging from his breast pocket.
This morning, he’s more casual, without a jacket, and his collar loose. The sleeves of his white dress shirt are rolled to his elbows, revealing tattoos along his forearms. His blond hair is slicked back. Felix is the one Blackwood brother who stands out among the others, his light hair setting him apart from their darker features.
