Turning in my seat, I smile. “Like I said. Stops me from punching everyone in the face.”
And Jesus, that’s been a chore lately. I swear God himself is fucking testing me. The chief, Allen and his band of OPP shitheads, the Sinners. Now Grace. Everyone is trying my fucking patience. I’m dangerously close to reverting back to the man I was after Emily died. The man who lost his temper and broke his ex-partner’s jaw. Who put two other cops in the hospital when they tried to pull me off him. I don’t want to be that man again. Filled with rage, drinking all the time, always looking for a fight. I got off easy with the therapy. They could have fired me instead. Or thrown me in jail.
The anger I mastered back then is close to the surface now. Clawing at my chest. It’s why the dreams have gotten so bad, why Emily’s face has taken centre stage in my nightmares. Donovan has been playing on my last nerve, which is why I need Grace to help me nail him.
It has to be big, and it can’t have my fingers all over it. These days, that’s gonna be hard to come by. The bastard pulls me into everything from his product drops to body cleanup. I’m his errand boy, janitor, whatever the hell he wants me to be. Another insurance policy, maybe. He’s gotten me in so deep, I literallycan’tbetray him.
My intention isn’t to put him jail. I’d rather get the same thing he’s got on me, the same thing I have on Grace. Leverage. I have that, I’m off the hook. No more business with the Sinners.No more looking at Donovan’s dumb fucking face. I won’t have to compromise my morals over and over again.
What’s left of them, at least.
I push out of my cruiser and tug open the back door. Dipping inside, I release Grace’s seat belt. Then I lightly grab her arm and help her scoot out of the seat and onto the road.
“Happy?” I ask as I prop her against the car.
“I will be when you remove the handcuffs.”
My chuckle is low and dark. “No, Gracie, you earned those cuffs tonight. Fair and square.”
She purses her lips. “This is why people don’t like cops. You’re all a bunch of bullies. You, Murphy, Sergeant Allen. You’re all the same.”
I cock a brow. “If you believe that, then you haven’t spent enough time with those dicks yet. Trust me, you’re much safer with me even on the darkest of roads than you are on a busy street with one of them.”
Pushing off the car, she closes the distance between us, scowl in place. “That what I am with you? Safe? Was I safe when you held a gun to my head? When you threatened me?”
There’s no stopping my eye roll. “You wanna be pissed about that, then fine. Be pissed. But don’t play the victim. You brought that on yourself.Youstarted this.” I angle closer, ducking so we’re eye to eye. “Let’s be honest here. You’re not mad I pointed a gun at you, you’re mad because your little scheme didn’t go as planned, and now I’ve turned the tables. Got you by the balls, or… tits, or whatever. You wanna play, Gracie, then let’s play. But don’t dish out what you can’t take. All I’m doing is matching your energy. Can’t help it if I’m better at this than you are.”
Her jaw tenses, fire igniting in her eyes. “I’m notplaying. My life isn’t a game.”
“Should have thought about that before you barged intomylife tossing around threats. Before you took a knife to my favourite pillow.”
“That what this is?” She nods towards the road. “Bringing me here, getting me alone, hands locked behind my back? You threatening me? Trying to prove a point?”
I hover in close, voice low. “Could be. Or maybe it’s like you said. Maybe I just like seeing you in handcuffs.”
She tilts up her chin, the move drawing my attention to the smooth ridges of her collarbone, the delicate slope of her neck. “And how else do you like seeing me?” she whispers. “Maybe… with your hand around my throat? You bring me here so you could rough me up a bit, Linc? You like doing that?”
Dark humor threads its way through me. “Almost as much as you like taking it,” I say as I move my lips to her ear. “Last night, when I had you pinned against my bedroom wall, how wet were your panties?”
Her swallow is audible, but she stands her ground, angling her head so her eyes are locked with mine, lips so close I could take a bite out of them. “Give me my shit back, and I’ll tell you.”
“Mmm. No.”
“The money, then.”
I huff a laugh. “You think I’d give up that much cash just to know the state of your panties after a bit of light choking? Give me a little more credit.”
A little smirk tugs up at the edge of her mouth. “What if I tell you what I did after? Once I was alone and tucked into my bed wearing nothingbutthose panties. Want me to describe it to you?”
My dick jumps, pressing against my pants. It’s a hell of a temptation. If I were a simpler man, I might actually take her up on it. A dirty, detailed retelling of Grace getting herself off,thinking of my hand around her throat, imagining it’smyfingers making her feel good instead of her own.
It’s how I imagined it too. Despite the holes in my walls, the bullet casings and the shit strewn across my floor, Grace coming on my fingers isallI’ve thought about.
It’s a fucking problem.
Grace lets out a breathy laugh. “Did you lose your tongue, Decker?”
“Just trying to figure out why you think I’d pay for that, when I can witness it in real time.” Hand clamped around her throat, I tug her into me.
