Wheels roll over the hardwood and then Nico leans against my desk, nudging my leg with his. Reluctantly, I look up to find his serious face.
“Look, Jenkins is…” He sucks in a breath as he thinks over his words carefully.
I lean back in my chair, quirk my brows at him, and wait to hear how long it takes him to come up with something nice to say about the man.
“He’s a hardass. But he’s not so bad.” My skepticism must be written all over my face because he corrects, “Sure, he’s rough around the edges, but he isn’t bad. You two got off on the wrong foot, and your past sure as hell isn’t helping anything. High school wasn’t that long ago, Williams, and we both know the shit you pulled. You need to show him you’re serious about this.”
I grind my teeth. “I am serious about it.”
Nico nods. “AndIbelieve you. I can see you’re trying, but you’ll need to showhimthat. Show him you’re not that boy spray painting around school, ditching classes, and getting in fights. Show him that you’re here to stay.”
My fingers squeeze into fists as I try to keep my cool.
Logically, I know he’s right. He’s not saying anything I’m not familiar with, and yet, a part of me can’t help but wonder why. Why do I need to prove myself to anyone? Why can’t my being here be enough?
Because you left like the coward you are. Because you thought your family was better off without you here until one of them was hurt.
Nico slaps me on the shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. “It’ll be okay. Just give it time.”
That’s easier said than done.
He pushes away from my desk just as my phone vibrates.
I pull it out of my pocket, noticing my sister’s name on the screen. I open the message, the words making me sit straighter.
Becky:
Mom’s having a good day. I just left with Jax, so I figured I’d let you know in case you want to stop by…
I shift in my seat, the collar of my shirt feeling tight around my neck.
She didn’t have to finish that for me to know what she means—I should visit while I can. While she’s lucid enough to remember me.
My palms turn sweaty. I tighten my hold on the phone, and the words on the screen start blurring together.
It’s been ages since I last saw her. What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if my going there messes her up even more? It wouldn’t be the first time. I remember the episodes she had during my teenage years. The ups and downs. One moment she would be my mom, but in the blink of an eye that would change, turning me from her son into a complete stranger.
“Yo, Wiliams!”
“Yeah?” I blink and lift my head, Nico’s face coming into view. He’s watching me expectantly, as if he’d called my name several times and I didn’t hear it.
“I asked, what are you up to today?” Nico leans back against his chair, his hands crossed over his chest. “A few of us are going to the gym after our shift if you want to join us once you’re done here.”
My phone buzzes again.
Becky:
I told her you were back in town, but I don’t think she believed me.
I know she’d love to see you.
“Great, just great,” I mutter to myself as I run my hand over my face. “Can’t today.”
Matthew:
I’ll go there after work.
Nico tilts his head to the side, curiosity evident on his face, but he must see my dark mood because he doesn’t probe further.
