As we collapse onto the bed and he hauls me into his arms, tucking me into him, each nook and cranny of him fitting perfectly with each nook and cranny of me, I know I’ve re-found my home.
With him.
Chapter 32
Leeva
It’sbeentwodayssince Hayes showed up at my door and revealed he was my masked wolf. Two days of unbelievable sex—both kink-filled and making love. My body is deliciously sore, my heart wonderfully soaring, but my mind is a jumbled mess.
Confusion, elation, panic, and fear.
I’m certain that I’ve seen some of those emotions play across his face when he thought I wasn’t aware.
We’ve spoken at length about our past pain, asking each other for forgiveness for our roles in causing it. We spoke about the baby girl I lost, both of us breaking down, and he held me tight as I told him my fears of ever getting pregnant again. He hasn’t pushed me to let him enter me without a condom. Each time after sex, though, I ask him to make me come one more time with his cum-coated fingers, taking small steps to work through my panic around this. And when the alarm to take my birth control pill goes off, he’s the one who gets the pill and brings it to me to take.
I explained in detail the tattoo removal process and told him more about my found family, and how they not only gave me safe refuge but love that helped me heal.
We’ve spent the past two days hidden from the world, just the two of us. And he’s been making good on the free use—not that I’m complaining. To ensure easy, unencumbered access, he’s kept me naked, or only allowed me to wear a short, silk robe that barely covers my ass.
But there’s something so confidence-boosting about a sinfully hot man looking at your bare body like you’re a goddess and he’s here to worship at your altar. And Hayes loves seeing my body, complete with its curves.
It’s hard to believe this is my life, and just as hard not to panic when I think about Guerilla discovering I’m back and coming for me.
And what could happen to Hayes when everything comes out.
I don’t fool myself for a second that he won’t assert his claim on me in front of Guerilla—not just to rub it in his hated brother’s face, but to claim me as his to the entire club so we don’t have to sneak around.
Which leads me back to the worry that we’re operating on a loophole, a technicality, when it comes to their club law, and Hayes could face the ultimate punishment—death.
I chew on my bottom lip while sitting on the kitchen island in my short silk robe, ruminating and worrying.
He steps between my legs, dressed in his biker attire—dark jeans, black shirt, his leather cut, and boots. He’s Army now, not Hayes or even my masked wolf. He tilts my face up to his. “Stop worrying.”
“I’m not.”
“You can’t lie to me. You never could.”
I rest my head on his chest, right over his beating heart. Right over where the lotus tattoo sits. Last night, while we lay naked infront of the electric fireplace with its heat and glow, I had traced it. He confessed it was his first tattoo and told me its meaning. Which made me want to cry all over again because he had kept his feelings from me for so long, and I was too blind to even sense how deep and romantic his love for me was.
He promised never to hide his love for me ever again, and solidified that promise by making love to me in front of the fire. Then again, but more ravenously and savagely, he fucked me within an inch of my life, talking filthy and making me a boneless puddle. I woke up this morning to find him already fucking me again, making good on the free use I had agreed to.
Which I love almost as much as I love the man himself.
He places his finger under my chin to tilt my face back up to his. “Stay here today, as we discussed. Don’t let anyone through the gates except me.”
My hands fist his leather cut. “Do you think Guerilla is in the city?”
“Digits still hasn’t been able to find him, so I’m not ruling it out.” He rubs a circle on my neck with his thumb, right over where Guerilla’s tattoo used to be. “But stay here and don’t let anyone in. I have someone I trust outside watching, just in case, though. You’re safe; Guerilla can’t get to you even if he’s in the city and knows where you are.”
I know that whoever Hayes has watching my place won’t be someone from the Havoc Guardians because he hasn’t come clean to Ash, Bane, and Pix. I know Digits is aware, but I made him promise to tell Ash and the others today.
The fact that he’s been keeping this from his closest and most trusted friends tells me he’s more worried about the club law and me being forbidden territory than he’s letting on.
I’m worried about what they’ll think when Hayes confesses everything. I knew them in the past; we were close, but not asclose as Hayes and I were. Even then, I was his, even if it was just as his best friend.
But I ran and hurt him. I could be the reason he gets hurt, or worse, in the future.
The entire MC is like a found family, but with Hayes’ closest friends, they’re hisfamily-family. And with the potential threat I pose to him, I wouldn’t blame them if they told me to leave and never look back.
