But it’s like all that pain is rushing back in, hitting me like a freight train.
I relive the scene in the hospital all over again. Where I held her as she shattered after losing her baby, and where, after seeing her absorbing the blame for Guerilla’s infidelity—like she was somehow defective or the cause—I admitted thathe was a fucking piece of shit. She realized I was hiding critical information, and I admitted I knew he had cheated on her at least once before.
Her look of betrayal and how I shattered her even further still guts me to this day. I tried to explain that I had beaten the shit out of him for it, and that I hadn’t told her because she seemed so goddamn happy with him, and her happiness was my only goal. I omitted that part of the reason I hadn’t told her was that I was worried about her physical health and how thin she still was during her pregnancy. If I had known what would happen in the future and that she’d discover him with three Club Pussy, I would’ve buried a bullet in his brain to stop all that and her pain. But none of that mattered when I was forced to confess my sins and what I had kept from her.
“How dare you. Howdareyou… You’re dead to me, Hayes.”
Those words, added to my guilt, had gutted me. I left her because I knew she needed some space, but when I returned a few hours later, she was gone.
And now, I feel all that pain as if I’m reliving it all over in real time. This serendipitous meeting with Leeva’s doppelgänger is a cruel,cruelpunishment for all my sins.
Pain crushes me, and if I weren’t already on the floor on my knees, I wouldn’t be able to stand.
Thinking that I had her back, only to discover this isn’t her—because it can’t be—makes the pain that much worse. If losing her the first time nearly killed me, I’m not sure I’ll survive it now.
But then she murmurs in her sleep, and I go stock-still. Disbelief mingles with pure, unadulterated joy.
“Hayes…”
Chapter 15
Army
“Hayes…”shewhispers.
Hayes.
She whisperedmyname in her drug-induced sleep.
Thisismy Leeva.
I can figure out how she ended up without Guerilla’s mark later, because right now, a possessiveness I’ve never allowed myself to feel for her roars to life.
She doesn’t wear Guerilla’s mark, so in the eyes of our MC, she isn’t his old lady. And according to our laws, I can have her.
Holy fucking shit.
Yes.
A part of my mind tries to interject, reminding me of my old ways of putting her on a pedestal. That thisisLeeva. My best friend, my pure and innocent little dove, and I’m the filthy scum who is unworthy of her.
But Leeva went to Hedon, wanting to dip her toes into the world of kink-filled sex all by herself.
Fate brought us back together so I could be her guide and teacher, helping her explore this part of herself in a safe, non-judgmental way. I was her first in that regard.
And I’ll be her fucking last.
I had stupidly friend-zoned us after Leeva expressed interest in me when we were younger. I won’t make that mistake again.
And I won’t let her, either.
I could tell that the attraction she felt to the man in the wolf mask was potent. Raw and carnal. Primal. No one else in that club existed for either of us.
And the way she came for me… Fucking. Magnificent.
She wanted the man in the wolf mask. But if she knew it was me, her best friend who betrayed her, that would be a different story, though.
A grin plays on my lips as I study her while she sleeps.
