He kisses me again, his face filled with regret. “The blame rests with me because I should’ve always been honest with you about how much I loved you.”
All this pain and sorrow could’ve been avoided, all this forgiveness—on both our parts—could’ve been unnecessary.
“I’ll make it up to you.” I cup his face. “Survive the club vote, and I promise, whatever you want, it’s yours.”
“That’s a dangerous promise, siren.” He smiles, but I see the worry and pain he’s trying to hide from me.
“I want…” I wet my parched lips, taking a moment to be sure that I truly mean these words. “IneedGuerilla not to live.”
Hayes sucks in sharply, and his eyes dart between mine. “He won’t. He’s going straight from the hospital to the Cell.”
“But you’ll drag it out.” I know he will, but I need the threat of him gone. For good. “He could escape.”
Hayes is about to protest, but I continue, “It could happen. Anything is possible, even in a secure facility; something could happen, or someone could try to free him. And I…I need him gone, Hayes. So he can never hurt you, me, or anyone ever again.”
I see the war within him as his darkness demands that Guerilla’s time left on this earth is as long, painful, and hellish as possible, but I also see how much he loves me.
He kisses me with all that love, then rests his forehead against mine. “It will be painful but quick.” He presses another kiss to my forehead. “Rest now. You’re safe. I’m safe. I’ll get them to give you more pain medication so you can sleep more comfortably.”
I grip his hand when he stands. “No. I think that’s what makes the nightmares so bad. I’m trapped in them and can’t wake up. I just need you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” I pat the bed beside me. “Please.”
He slowly gets on the small bed and gently arranges himself around me, resting his head beside mine. “Sleep, little dove. I’m not going anywhere.”
I fall asleep praying that he’s able to keep that promise.
Chapter 52
Army
We’refinallyleavingthehospital. I have equal parts elation and dread.
Elation that Leeva survived and is recovering well, and that she’s been discharged.
Dread for what comes next.
But I’m refusing to focus on the latter right now; instead, I’m lavishing all my love and attention on the woman I loved at first sight.
Leeva is sore as hell, her breathing is still somewhat labored, and she tires quickly. She allowed me to push her in a wheelchair to the front door, but she insisted on walking out of the hospital on her own.
I give her my hand, watching with contented satisfaction as her smaller one slips into mine. As I help her out of the wheelchair, her eyes lift to mine. I see the swirling mix of her love and worry.
“Has Ash said when the club will do their vote now that I’m getting out of the hospital?”
Her hand trembles, and I gently position her against my side to keep my arm wrapped around her waist.
“Let’s not worry about that right now.”
“Hayes.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Just walk, little dove, or I’ll be forced to carry you.”
She huffs a small laugh, then grimaces at the pain caused by that.
As we slowly approach the front door, Trinity and Nina are there, dressed in their scrubs. They had both been up to visit Leeva several times over the past few weeks.
