I never wanted her innocence to be tainted or her purity diminished. It was my knee-jerk reaction of why I had friend-zoned us in the beginning. I’m not worthy of her, but neither is my brother, the motherfucker.
Even though my refusal to tell her how I feel could very well be the reason we got to this point, and the brutal truth that I can never have her is still sinking in, I still love her. And I’ll protect her—protect and preserve her innocence and purity as much as I can.
I couldn’t do that if I enlisted and was shipped off across the world.
“I decided to delay enlisting.”
Zeus eyes me closely but catches on. “I asked him to. I know it’s selfish of me, but the MC needs Army here right now.”
Leeva’s finely arched brows furrow as she hates the thought of me being a brother.
“Where’s my old lady?” a voice booms outside in the bar area, close enough to the adjoining room where my friends and I like to eat. “Did you all hear the great fucking news?”
My entire body fills with rage.
Guerilla.
Ash moves to block me from going out and killing him.
Zeus takes Leeva’s elbow and turns her so her back is to me. “Come on, little one. Your old man is looking for you,” he says to her, but jerks his chin at Ash.
Ash pulls me toward the side door. Once we’re outside of the clubhouse, I snarl and come at him. But he anticipates my attack, knowing that I need to get this rage out.
He slams my back into the wall. “We can fight and draw everyone’s attention, including that piece of shit Guerilla, to why you’re so fucking livid over Leeva. Or you can walk away, and we’ll leave the compound and fight whoever you want.”
He steps back. “Or better yet, we can go and finally get you laid. Because, brother, that pussy is forever on lockdown from anyone in this club, other than Guerilla, so you might as well accept that.”
I shove push him, and he follows me to our bikes. I don’t let myself think or feel. We just ride.
When Ash pulls up at a warehouse, I don’t ask any questions as I follow him into the building. Inside, the interior is dim, and there’s a deep, pulsing beat thudding through the space.
He leads me to a desk where a woman towers on stilettos and her see-through dress shows pierced nipples with chains dangling down her torso. I stay silent as he speaks quietly to her. She eyes me with appreciation and taps her red-stained lips, then tells me to follow her.
I watch the woman’s ass as she struts in front of me. She’s lithe and lean, like Leeva, who is still underweight in my opinion. But I can’t think of Leeva. Because I feel like I’m about to cheat on her.
But she isn’t mine…nor could she ever be.
The woman leads me into a room that has a bed, a bench, and a wall full of items.
“It's a sex bench—great for spanking or getting railed from behind,” she explains when she sees me looking at it. Her eyes trail down my body. “Do you have preferences? Male or female?”
“Female. One with curves.”
I need the woman to be the opposite of Leeva.
She nods. “Do you want to dominate or be dominated?”
I pause, considering. “I want to dominate, not like BDSM but…” I’m not quite sure how to explain my wants. “But I need guidance.”
She nods. “I’ll send Anais. If she isn’t to your liking, that’s okay; we can try another. Wait here.”
Being left alone isn’t in my best interest because I’m going to start talking myself out of this. Start feeling like I’m cheating on Leeva more than I already am.
Thankfully, the door opens, and I turn to find a woman with auburn hair. Her breasts are full, and her curves are apparent under the silk robe.
“I'm Anais,” she says in a husky voice.
I want to bolt from this room and never look back. But back there is only Leeva, and I can never have her. I can never have my best friend. So I need to do this.
