At that, Leo crossed her arms over her chest. “You should not be ‘totally fine’ after killing a man, Kiera.”
“You are.” I spat back with a critical glare.
“That’s different. It’s… not my first time.” She rolled her shoulders back, adjusting her posture as she turned to face memore. “But that doesn't mean I’m not affected by it. That stuff lives in your body, no matter how many times you do it.”
My body had felt like a separate piece from the rest of me ever since my captors pulled that monster of a man from the back of his car. It was a vessel, something I could pilot toward survival. It wasn’t a home for my own consciousness, let alone whatever trauma was trying to make a nest of it now.
But that didn’t seem to be satisfactory to the good doctor. “When you think about what just happened… where are you feeling it?”
I gestured around the back of my head, just a few inches from my skull. “Is that not how you…?”
Leo shook her head, pointing straight at her chest. “I feel it here. It burns, adrenaline and all those other chemicals creeping up my neck. My arms feel tight, my stomach tingles, and my focus feels like it’s front and center in my body.”
I blinked as I took that in, trying to make sense of the difference. “Does that mean there’s something wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Leo shook her head hard, instantly trying to dispel the concern. “I just want to keep an eye on you for a few days. It seems like those feelings haven’t hit you quite yet. But when they do, I want you to know that I’m here for you. All of us are.”
I let out a small chuckle, lying back against the pillows. “Oh yeah? Even Dom?”
“Even Dom. She just doesn’t know how to show it.” She laughed, laying a hand on my thigh. “Is there anything I can do for you right now?”
Even through the blanket, her hand was warm on my thigh, anchoring me back in my body. My chest and head felt… floaty, jittery. Like I might disappear at any moment. I needed more of that grounding, more of her. “Will you hold me?”
“Of course.” She stood, circling the bed. “Mind if I get comfy?”
I nodded, watching as she stripped down her dirty layers until just her tight black boxers and a thin white undershirt remained. Then, pulling back the sheet, she slid into the bed beside me, holding her arms open for me. “How do you want me?”
I rolled over, pressing my back against her as she wrapped her massive arms around me. Taking my cue, she scootched forward, pulling me firmly against her body until her heat bled into my skin. “Any better?”
“A little,” I murmured, bunching the duvet against my chest as I nestled into her.
“Can I try something that might help a little more?”
“Okay…” I leaned back into her heat, pulling her arms a little tighter around me.
“Okay, this is a game I learned a while back. It’s supposed to help when your head’s starting to buzz. It’s pretty simple. Can you tell me five things you can see?”
Blinking, I stared out into the dimly lit room. “Anything?”
“Anything.” Leo nodded.
“Uh, the wallpaper?” I squinted at the blue and gold print across from the bed, the way the short lines and dots worked together to form dense brush and shrubs.
“What else?”
“The arm chair…” It still had a faint imprint of Leo on its cushion. “The bathroom door, my nightstand… and the pile of books.” I’d spent more time reading since arriving here than I had in years. Not much else to do when you’re locked up in a room alone…
“Good. Now take a deep breath, and tell me four things you can feel.”
My chest, too tight before, expanded with a deep breath as I tried to tap into my sense of touch. “The duvet…”
“What does that feel like?” She prodded, adjusting slightly behind me.
“Cool. But like, a nice coolness.”
“Alright. What else?”
“The pillow cradling my head…” I was struggling to think of anything else. Anything that didn’t have to do with Leo at least.
