My heart ached as I saw Liza, the brave and strong girl, as she leaned against my leg after the soft brush of my lips against her hair. So simple, I thought to myself almost angrily. I’d known Liza but mere weeks, and already I couldn’t imagine denying her the sort of motherly, or sisterly, or whatever this was—sort of love that both of us so desperately craved. A love I’d missed out on until now.
I knelt before Liza. “We will figure this out together, sweetie. I promise you. You are never alone in dealing with this anymore, I promise.”
“When you deal with the spirits,” Liza whispered, barely audible, “you’re always alone in a way.”
Gods, this girl was more intelligent than her years. As soon as she said it, I knew exactly what she meant. We could have an entire army on our side, but all the Rangers in the world couldn’t save us from our thoughts, our dreams, our nightmares. All the Rangers in the world couldn’t help me with my Fae magic, or help Liza commune with the spirits. We were on our own, even if it was in tiny ways, and we would be for our whole lives.
“Yeah,” I said, my breath a sorrowful whoosh. “I’m sorry you have to bear such a big burden so young. But know you’re not alone through it all.”
“I will be alone if you go into the underworld,” Liza said, her voice hushed. “I don’t know how you expect to return from that place.”
I licked my lips. Not only was Liza being visited by the spirits, she was worried about the task I’d asked of her—to help me visit the underworld.
“Let’s get some tea.” I rose to my feet and took her hand again. “That always helps.”
Liza nodded, and we continued on into the kitchen. I glanced at her as I set a pot of tea on the stove, and she opened a drawer to look for spoons and honey. I’d always assumed I’d have children. In fact, the only thing that had made the idea of marriage to Simon tolerable was that he wanted children too.
I’d rationalized in my own, twisted way in the weeks leading up to the ceremony, that even if Simon didn’t love me in that wholehearted way I’d imagined soulmates loved one another, maybe our children would make up for it. After all, nobody could stop me from loving my own children. Maybe they would hold together a marriage that was built on nothing but trust funds and last names.
I shook my head as the tea kettle whistled. How mistaken I’d been. But now, on the other side of things, I could see how my warped childhood had led me to that place. I’d lived a life so devoid of love and independence and, honestly, happiness—was it any wonder I’d settled for stability and the hope of love in the future?
But as I looked at Liza, feeling a sensation of love swell in my chest; as I thought of Silas, sleeping upstairs in the bed we now shared together; as I thought of Lily, and the way she cared for me as something beyond a simple friendship; as I thought ofMillie, and the way she’d welcomed me so seamlessly into her life on this island—I realized that this was what life was all about.
I’d rather die in ten days having known this sort of love, than live a hundred years without it. Families, I realized, weren’t a match made on Page Six with two and a half kids and a white picket fence. Families were dangerous and bold. Vulnerable and unexpected. Unpredictable and wild. What I had here was family.
“Queen Alessia,” Liza ventured softly. “Are you okay?”
I hadn’t realized that my eyes had flooded with tears as I looked at Liza’s soft, innocent face untouched by the stress of age and experience.
I knelt before her, opened my arms. Liza rushed into them, wringing her little arms tightly around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her thin waist, hugging her body to me in a clasp that meant more to me than anything in my whole life.
“Liza, you’re very loved,” I told her, pulling back, through my tears. “I want you to know that. You are such a special, incredible little girl. I’m very proud of you.”
Liza blinked, her eyes filling with tears too. Then she pulled me in for another hug, and we sat there, in a tender embrace until the tea kettle whistled in the background. As she held me, she softly sang the lullaby I’d hummed to her when she’d watched her mother go through the portal. The same lullaby that had been instilled in me by my ancestors.
Eventually, we both pulled back, dabbing at our eyes. Liza set to work putting tea bags in china mugs. I poured water. She stirred in honey and added milk. We moved in unison like a team, and when I carried the tea over to a small eat-in nook in the kitchen, Liza settled in right next to me, so close our legs were touching as we sipped our tea.
“I’m sorry for asking you about such a grave task,” I said. “I didn’t mean to worry you so much.”
“Of course I worry about you.” Liza picked at her dress. It seemed she didn’t have a ton of experience expressing emotions either, and this was her way of saying she cared for me. “I don’t want you to get hurt. The spirits are evil and dangerous. But I’ll help you, if that’s what you think is right.”
“I am still asking for your help,” I said. “I wish I could say that I’ve thought of another way, but I haven’t. The truth is this, and I owe you the truth if you’re going to be involved: I had an idea to free some of the spirits in the underworld. If only I can get down there and communicate with them.”
“Free the spirits?” Liza frowned. “You mean, release them onto a different plane, kind of how you did with the Procession of Spirits?”
“That’s exactly what I mean. Seeing how eager and grateful those spirits were, the ones trapped on our island...”
“My mom.”
I nodded. “They were all so eager to be set free, like it was joy and contentment, like they would be finally at peace, it made me wonder if the spirits in the underworld felt trapped in a similar way.”
“Probably worse,” Liza admitted. “At least here, it was a more neutral environment. The underworld isn’t so pleasant, I imagine.”
“That’s exactly my thought. My hope even. If I can speak to the spirits and convince them to go through a similar portal, to release the spirits into a plane where they can finally rest and be at peace, it could be a huge detriment to the Darkest Lord’s spirit army.”
“That makes sense.”
I was surprised by Liza’s simple agreement. I knew she didn’t want me to go, and yet, I felt somewhat validated after running my plan by her, hearing her quick and fast agreement.
