I need you so much said like a secret.
I have this — him shaking — him holding my face like I’m something precious and terrifying all at once — kissing me like it’s the most important thing he’s ever done.
And the most devastating.
We break for air.
Both completely wrecked.
His hands still in my hair.
My fists still in his shirt.
Foreheads together.
Neither moving.
Like if we move it ends.
Like we both know it ends.
• • •
In the quiet —
I feel him start to come back.
The way his breathing steadies.
The way his hands go still.
The way something behind his eyes moves from open — terrifyingly, beautifully open —
to closed.
That door.
That door he’s had since he was eight years old.
Swinging shut.
• • •
“Cassian,” I whisper.
He squeezes his eyes shut.
Like if he looks at me he won’t be able to do what he’s about to do.
His hands fall away.
He steps back.
Just enough.
“Ro.”
Wrecked.
