His jaw was set. Eyes fixed on nothing.
“Hey,” I said.
He blinked.
Where were you?
Come back.
“Hey.”
We looked at each other.
• • •
I wanted to say something useful. Something that would actually help.
He was lost and I wanted to keep him here with me.
But Cassian was too close, and my mind went blank.
• • •
So I said,
“You want more popcorn?”
He stared at me.
• • •
His sadness was my sadness. It was how things always were.
He inspired my mood.
Pulled it down without meaning to, the way heavy air floats to the top.
I realize now the power I gave him over me was unfair to both of us.
He was just as lost as I was.
Regardless. The more he sunk into himself, the more I kept trying to bring him back.
The more he resented me for trying.
But still he was there.
So it was okay.
If that made him feel better, it’d all be worth it.
• • •
My parents were worried.
They didn’t think our dynamic was healthy — I knew that without them saying it. I could see it in the looks they exchanged over dinner. The way my mom would watch me watch the door.
But they also understood what I couldn’t explain.
