Something moves across his face.
Fast.
Something he gets control of before I can name it.
“Open them,” he says.
“Cassian —”
“Open them, Ro.”
I open them.
All four say yes.
I stand there holding four yeses and feel absolutely nothing like I expected to feel.
“Congratulations,” he says.
Not cold.
Just —
Proud of me.
And that’s worse.
“Say something real,” I say.
“That is real. You worked hard for those. You should be happy.”
“Cassian.”
“What do you want me to say.”
“I want you to tell me not to go.”
The room goes quiet.
He looks at me for a long moment.
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you should go.”
“I’ll stay.” The words come out fast. “I’ll go to community college. I’ll defer. I don’t care. If you tell me to stay I’ll stay. Just —”
“Ro —”
“Tell me to stay, please. Just tell me to stay.”
“No.”
“Why not? Why won’t you just —” I stop. Something hot and old moving through me and suddenly I feel like a confused kid again.
“Is this what you do? You get close enough that I can feel you and then you decide what’s good for me and disappear? Is that what’s happening right now?”
