“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your face said something.”
He puts his face in neutral.
“So,” I say, with as much dignity as a naked person can manage. “What’s the plan for today?”
He looks at me for a moment.
Serious underneath the amusement.
Like he’s been thinking about this.
• • •
“I think we should go see her,” he says.
I know what he means.
I sit with it for a second.
And then I nod.
Because he always knows.
He has always known before I do.
I’ve been carrying this guilt like a stone in my chest and he saw it yesterday in the garden and now here we are.
He always knew me better than I knew myself.
• • •
I get dressed.
Go out to the garden.
Choose the daisies carefully — her favorite colors, the ones she always pointed out, the ones she was most proud of — and start putting together a small bouquet.
Cassian appears next to me and attempts to help.
I watch him crumple three stems in approximately thirty seconds.
“Thank you,” I say. “That’s so helpful.”
“I’m helping.”
“You’re destroying.”
“But I’m cute.”
I take the flowers back.
He lets me.
He’s pouting.
He really is so cute.
