In the car, Naz has taken the front seat, which I am grateful for because I feel like sitting next to Zane would be a little awkward right now. That is until I realize he can make direct eye contact with me through the rearview mirror.
He seems… amused.
I feel his laughing eyes on me the whole way to Jesse’s place.
Jesse looks tired and thinner than he did a week ago, but he seems in good spirits. Having Luc here seems to have turned things around for him. Once Luc gets up to go to the bathroom, we bombard him with questions, and he explains that they both made mistakes with their communication, but he thinks they’re both in this for the long haul.
I watch them together while the first movie plays, the way they’re wrapped around each other so comfortably. By the third movie, Jesse is passed out. I watch as he shifts closer to Luc in his sleep, and Luc adjusts automatically, tucking him in and smiling down at him serenely. It’s so unguarded and sweet, it makes my chest contract almost painfully. I’m happyfor my friend. It’s terrifying when it seems like so much of his happiness hinges directly on the presence of Luc, but I’m also really happy for him.
When it comes time for our choice of the night, both Luc and Jesse are asleep, and Naz looks close to it. Ari’s head is resting in my lap, and my thumb is rubbing circles on the soft skin of his arm. I think I pay more attention to Ari than I do the movie, and before I know it, it’s time to go.
The three of us quietly clean up as much as we can without making too much noise. While I’m loading the popcorn buckets into the dishwasher, Naz covers the sleeping lovebirds with a blanket. Ari snaps a picture of them and sends it to the group chat.
The drive home is mostly quiet. Naz makes a comment about Luc being good for Jesse, and we agree.
“That’s why I took the picture,” Ari says. “I wanted them to see proof that something good came out of all of this. They survived.”
“Hopefully it doesn’t get any worse,” I mutter, and Ari smacks my arm.
“Don’t you dare,” he says. “It can only go up from here.”
Naz gives me a look before we part ways in the condo lobby, one that says he understood and agreed with my sentiments. There doesn’t feel like there’s much room for optimism lately.
Back at our place, Ari turns and faces me as soon as the door is shut and locked behind us.
“Things are messy right now, but Luc and Jesse are making it work.” He holds up the picture. “It’s proof that they’ve come thisfar, and it’s proof that love and happiness are possible if you’re willing to fight for it. That’s a good thing. And we need to hold on to good things.”
I swallow, not sure what to say. I know he’s right. I see it in the way Luc was caring for Jesse tonight, in the way Jesse seems healthier and more relaxed. As long as they believe in each other and the people closest to them believe in them too, as long as they hold on to the good things, like Ari said, they’ll be able to weather the storm.
“We need to lie low for a while, maybe a long while. But I won’t let any of this ruin a good thing. You’re my good thing, Will. And I want to be yours.”
For a moment, I can’t speak. I’m too choked up thinking about how all day I’ve been thinking about protecting him. About threats. About leverage and strategy, and damage control. I’ve been thinking like a big brother, like a protector, and a bit like a dog marking his territory, sometimes confusing protection with ownership.
He’s thinking like a man in love. Withme.
I step closer to him slowly, sinking into the warmth and tension between us. I drag my eyes from the floor to his mouth, then meet his gaze.
“You are,” I tell him, because there’s really nothing else to say.
He reaches for me first, his hand sliding up my chest, fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt. I feel the slight tremor in his hold, though his expression remains steady.
“I don’t want to waste time being afraid,” he says. “I know that no matter what happens, we’ll both be here fighting for our good thing.”
Something about those words, maybe the earnest truth in them, sets something loose inside me. It flutters around every protective instinct I have, encouraging me to take a breath.
My entire life has been built on anticipating the worst. Bracing for impact, either in the form of a threat or waiting for the people I have in my life to realize I’m not worth the trouble.
But Ari never has. Even when he left, he never leftme. He simply went to find a better way of being. I was afraid that if he didn’t need me, he’d leave me behind. But he chose me. Even when I fucked up, he chose me when there was someone better.
And here he is choosing me again, declaration and all, because he wants me. Because he thinks I’m his good thing.
I bend and kiss Ari slowly, letting out a sigh of relief as I allow myself to loosen my grip on the anxiety I’ve been carrying. I’ve been shouldering it since we started getting closer, even when I started being more open and honest about my feelings, even since we started the physical stuff. It’s been too good, it hasn’t felt real. It hasn’t felt like something I could trust would stay.
I owe it to Ari to believe in us. I know without a doubt that I’ll fight to the ends of the world for him. And now I need to believe him when he says he will too. Especially when he’s shown me time and time again that he chooses me every day.
There’s no urgency in the way we kiss, no frantic edge like there has been for weeks. It’s just the slow recognition of something that has always been between us, but we never dared to fully acknowledge.
Ari’s hands slide into my hair. Mine find his hips and dip to the backs of his thighs, lifting him into my arms, and his legs wrap around my waist.
