“Luc,” I whisper, eyes filling with tears.
The heart rate monitor picks up again, and my mom climbs into the bed next to me, careful of the tubes and lines connected to me everywhere, and pulls me into her arms.
“Let me know if you need anything. I’m just outside,” Annie whispers.
“Sometimes you just need a good cry,” Mom says, and holds me while I do just that.
Blake, Will, and Ari visit later in the day, when I’m a little more clearheaded but still quite groggy. I’ve slept most of the day and cried the rest. I’m feeling pretty numb, so I feel safe asking Blake how badly I’ve screwed up.
“First of all, you didn’t screw anything up. Someone violated your right to privacy, and you had an involuntary panic attack. None of that is your fault,” he says firmly, then sighs.
“Just tell me,” I say flatly. “I’d rather know than be surprised by it later.”
“Unfortunately, quite a few of the major news outlets are getting excellent ratings by sensationalizing everything, and none of what they have to say is beneficial. The paparazzi were camped outside the hotel when EMTs arrived, and they’re reporting that you overdosed.”
I open my mouth, but Blake gets there before I do. “I’ve been in contact with Mr. Martín. He knows you’re okay, and I let him know that the reports were false. I hope that’s okay. I figured you wouldn’t want him to think the worst.”
I nod. “Thank you. Is he…”
“As far as I know, he’s fine. He was concerned about you when he saw the news, beyond that we didn’t discuss much. I offered him legal counsel if he ends up needing it.”
I nod again, feeling like a swimmy-headed bobblehead doll.
“I’ve been in meetings with PR and legal. Given the public uproar over the reports, and to protect your health, we think it’s a good idea to cancel the remainder of the tour. Luckily, there were only a couple more shows. I can keep the private holiday shows on the schedule for now, and we can make decisions as we go.”
“And what about you guys?” I ask my bandmates, who have taken up residence in chairs at the end of my bed. Naz has his legs up on the bed next to mine.
“Seems like the best thing for now,” Will says, and Ari agrees.
Naz nudges my foot with his. “No one blames you for this, man. It’s fucking bullshit, and it’s a hell of a mess to clean up, but it’s not your fault.”
If only Luc saw it that way.
TWENTY-FOUR
LUC
“You’re a goddamn idiot is what you are,” Shawna says, standing with her arms crossed in my kitchen.
“Don’t you think I know that?! Who invited you here again?”
“I’m your best friend. I don’t need an invitation. I have a fucking key,” she says, holding it up and sticking her tongue out at me.
I can’t help but huff out an exasperated laugh. “What’s it going to take to get you to go home?”
“You getting your head out of your ass,” she says, dropping her duffle bag on the floor. “I expect I’ll be here a while.”
Shawna and I have been at odds about what to do about the Jesse Moore situation. When I went home alone for Thanksgiving, she laid next to me and let me cry it out. She let me mope around for a couple days, making excuses for my odd behavior to my family.
My sisters still managed to figure it out. Unlike my dad, who pretty much exclusively watches theWeather Channel, my sisters are as keyed into the latest celebrity scandal as mostteenagers, especially as fans ofLest Is Moore. The two of them came to me my second night home and told me that they know I’m Jesse Moore’s lover.
If I have ever felt sicker in my life, I can’t name the day. I’ve had food poisoning that didn’t tear me up as much as finding out that my little sisters saw my sex tapes. Thank God Georgia let me know that neither of them had seen the actual videos, only the blurred-out screenshots shared on the mainstream news sources. My smart, sensitive sisters informed me that, under no circumstances would they look at anyone’s private photos or videos that had been leaked without their permission.
“Looking at them would be like violating that person physically. Do unto others, and all that,” she said.
They’d seen a few of the gossip rags mention my name as a possible love interest before, and had “Maybe been a tiny bit hopeful that those rumors were true,” Talia said, blushing.
When I asked why, Georgia said, “First of all, he’s hot. Second of all, he was so cute cheering for you and wearing your jersey, and third of all, he’s hot.” Talia added, “Oh, and you’ve never had a person. We figured it was time.”
