There was a brief pause while my brain processed those words. A moment of calm.
Followed by a white-hot flash of rage.
I was speechless. My mouth wouldn’t work, but that didn’t stop the questions racing through my mind.
How the fuck could Dominic’s dad think that? Let alone say it with such conviction that Dominic believed it?
I wasn’t a violent person. I took beatings, quite literally, lying down. But right now, I wanted to make Dominic’s father hurt. For him to feel a tinyshredof the pain he’d put his son through.
“Dominic, look at me.”
He lifted his head wearily. There were still no tears. Part of me wondered if Dominic ever cried. If he ever let himself truly feel his emotions. “Dom, it wasn’t your fault. You were a child and what happened was an accident. I never knew your mum, but I know she wouldn’t want you carrying this guilt.”
His eyes shuttered. “You can’t know that.”
“I can,” I said fiercely, grabbing his chin between my pointer finger and my thumb. I held him firm, not letting him duck away. “I can, because there’s no way you’d want someone feeling that way if the situation was reversed. You’re a good person,Dom. A kind person. Caring. Shit, you saw bruises on me once and took it upon yourself to protect me. And you didn’t evenlikeme then.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” His voice was quiet. “I think it’d be more accurate to say I was trying not to like you.”
Normally, that kind of statement would’ve sent giddy butterflies fluttering through my stomach, but nothing other than seeing Dominic smile was going to get rid of the stone that was currently taking up all the space there.
“Regardless, you still did it, because that’s the kind of person you are. You give a shit about those around you. You actively try to make their lives better.” Even us hiding our relationship demonstrated that. Dom knew it would hurt Max if he learned the truth, if we flaunted what we were, so we didn’t. “Given what a cunt your dad is, you didn’t get those traits from him. You must’ve got them from her.”
There. The smallest curl at the edge of his lip. A hint that Dom was coming back to me. “You really see me that way?”
“Yes.” I stroked his hair. “I do, Dom, because that’s who you are. Your dad has no idea of the son he has, and he’s the one who will miss out because of it.”
“Damn right he will.” Dominic sighed, dropping a kiss on my chest before moving up the bed until he was on the pillow beside me. “First chance I get, I’m out of here. I won’t come back. Ever. Not for him. He thinks it’d be better if I were dead? Fine. That’s exactly how it’ll be.”
I traced my hand up and down his arm. “Where will you go?”
His mouth opened but no sound came out. His head swivelled to face me, and there was something in his eyes. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
My brow crinkled. “Dom?”
He cleared his throat, turning his gaze to the ceiling. “Dunno. Far away though.”
My fingers stilled. “What about…what about us?”
“Don’t worry about that, Shadow.” He hauled me into his arms and planted a smacking kiss on the top of my head. “That’s for future us to worry about.”
That wasn’t an answer, but given what Dominic had been through tonight, now wasn’t the right time to push it.
After a while, his breathing evened out. I was right. Dominic had just needed to get it off his chest.
As for me?
I lay awake for hours, worrying about what future me was going to have to deal with. Whether that future, which apparently involved Dominic getting as far away from here as possible, meant leaving me behind too.
Dominic didn’t bringup his plan again.
Neither did I.
It was there though, just existing in the space between us. Whenever our friends brought up where we’d be in October, Dominic would tense. Same as when Mum brought up my uni choices at the dinner table, pointing out how handy Southampton was for popping back home.
The only thing Dom was happy to discuss was my course choice. He was adamant that I should opt for art.
I brushed him off. Him and Mum both. The truth was, I couldn’t make a decision until I knew where Dom would be. The art options would actually keep me closer to home, but was there any point in that when Dominic wouldn’t be here?
