I wished it didn’t.
Scowling at the page,I ripped it from the pad before balling it up. It joined the pile already surrounding the bin in the corner of my bedroom. It wasn’t my aim that was the problem, but the fact that my bin was so full there wasn’t space for the shit I was producing.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I glared down at yet another empty page. Nothing was working tonight. I just couldn’t get into the groove. The relaxation it usually gave me was just…missing.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Like a universally ironic reminder, catcalls echoed through the thin wall I shared with Max.
Right. That was why.
I hadn’t heard from Dominic since he’d vanished after Max. Not that it felt that way with how fucking loud they’d been. I might as well have been gaming with them given the noise they made.
But I wasn’t. I wasn’t invited.
I never was.
Another catcall. My pencil tore through the paper, making me grind my teeth together. I should give up, but this was the final piece required for my A level art portfolio. The subject had to reflect something I cared about. Sounded easy, right?
That’s what I thought too.
I’d tried so many different things. A paintbrush. The rowan tree that stood at the end of our garden. A lark that liked to sit on my windowsill sometimes. The Caffeine Daydreams’ logo.
Nothing was working.
I tapped my pencil rhythmically against yet another page. Maybe I was approaching this wrong. What if I did a portrait instead? I could ask Mum to sit for it. She’d probably be thrilled.
Then again, if I couldn’t makethatwork, I’d be fucked. It wasn’t like I could ask her to sit for me and then not submit it.
Max’s door opened and closed. I braced myself, waiting for Dominic to knock on my door. Or, knowing him, just walk in.
But his footsteps moved swiftly past and downstairs. Seconds later, I heard the front door bang shut.
I stared down at the blank page. Why did I feel so…hollow? I didn’t want to see Dominic. Of course I didn’t.
So why was I disappointed?
Get over yourself, Ryan,I told myself firmly.You’re being ridiculous. Stop giving Dominic headspace he doesn’t deserve.
Maybe I could do that if I could stop remembering the flush on his cheekbones as he confessed about not having food at home. He’d been so fucking vulnerable.
Just to ditch you as soon as Max appeared.
I picked up the pencil again, shaking my head. My inner voice was right. Dominic was fucking with my brain and I needed to stop letting him.
The lead had barely touched the paper when someone rapped lightly on my window. I jumped so hard my chair almost toppled backwards.
Cursing, I lifted my head to see Dominic smirking at me through the glass.
“Dramatic, much?”
I marched over to glare at him. “Says the guy who’s knocking on my window like a fucking stalker.”
“If I was a stalker, I wouldn’t be announcing myself.” Thanks to the cheap windows, we had no issue hearing each other. “Gonna let me in?”
I seriously debated it. My fingers even twitched as I considered just shutting the curtains on him. That’d teach him.
But when I raised my hands, they didn’t go to the fabric.
