They were all of Ryan. Of his features contorted in anger as he got in my face. The sarcastic wit he unleashed on me. The confident angle of his head as he put me in my place.
The high colour on his cheeks as he came.
What the fuck do I do now?
Max would kill me if he knew I’d fucked around with his twin. Maybe it was better to be upfront about it. If I hid it from him and he found out further down the line, he’d be beyond pissed off.
And if it happened again, I’d want to make sure?—
My brain screeched to a halt mid-thought. What was I thinking?Again?It was bad enough that it had happened once. We couldn’t do it again. That would be stupid. Reckless. Asking for trouble.
Unfortunately, all things I was well known for.
Fuck.
7
Ryan
I rubbed my eyes, trying to make them focus. It was no use. The text was jumping around the page.
Muttering a curse, I slammed the book shut. Fucking Dominic. It was all his fault. Two nights had passed since I’d been on my knees for him, and I’d had barely three hours of sleep spread across the both of them.
Whenever I closed my eyes, he was there. Staring down at me. Muttering praise. Tugging at my hair.
I’d had more confusing erections over the past forty-eight hours than during the rest of my teen years combined. I’d refused to touch myself though. I wasn’t getting myself off to memories of him.
I wasn’t gay, right? There wasn’t anything wrong with it, of course. But I liked girls. I wasn’t attracted to guys.
Then why do you keep getting hard every time you remember how Dominic came down your throat?
I groaned, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes until I saw stars. I just needed some sleep. That’d help. A solid eight hours and everything would make sense again.
It had to.
The quiet of the library wasn’t as reassuring as usual. Without my book holding my attention, I tried to focus on the muttered conversations. The small groups of friends who were using their lunch hour to revise. All it did was remind me that I was sat here alone. I had acquaintances, sure. But not friends.
I wondered what it must be like. It had been so long for me that I’d forgotten.
Focusing on that was better than letting my mind wander. Wandering led to Dominic. The other night. To what we did.
To the fact I hadn’t seen him since.
For most people, not seeing their brother’s best friend for a couple of days would be normal. Hell, I’d bet good money there were some who could go months at a time without crossing paths.
It wasn’t normal for us though. Dominic practically lived at our place. For years now, I’d walked into the kitchen for breakfast every day to find him sat at our table. Eating our food. Chatting with my family. He hadn’t even been on the bus to and from college.
I’d spent too many sleepless hours analysing his absence. Was he freaking out too? Or had he just chalked it up as one of the many wild experiences he’d probably had?
I was being ridiculous, really. Dominic likely hadn’t given a second thought to what had happened. I doubted he’d lost any sleep.
Max hadn’t been around either, which made sense. It stopped Mum questioning where Dominic had been. Like me, she knew that wherever they were, the two of them would be together.
I just fucking prayed that Dominic hadn’t mentioned anything to Max. We’d both said we wouldn’t tell anyone, but as for trusting Dominic’s word? Yeah, that wasn’t happening.Fucker had thrown me under the bus too many times for me to trust him.
Max hadn’t rubbed it in my face yet, which I was taking as a good sign. But maybe he was just waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up. Probably during the next argument I had with Mum and Dad.
What a way to be outed.
