Leaning over, I squinted. Fuck. I was at the train tracks.
Dominic’s voice echoed through the empty air.“I don’t just want you physically, Ry. I want to just exist around you.”
That was bollocks. He wasn’t existing around me now. Dominic was miles away. He’d known then that he’d be leaving, but he’d kept quiet. Promised me forever.
Just how many lies had he told me?
A raw yell left me. I pulled back my arm and threw the bottle as far as I could. It smashed somewhere in the field beyond, leaving me panting and empty handed.
Empty.
That was how I felt.
I slumped onto the train tracks as sobs wracked my chest. Why had he left me? Why had he taken me at my word instead of fighting for us? Was I not worth it? Was what we’d shared not worth it?
It was to me. It had meant everything. Hadn’t stopped me walking away from him though.
I wished I could take it back. That I could rewind time and change what I’d said. That I’d agreed to long-distance. To anything so long as it kept him in my life.
My head was swimming. Fuck, I’d drunk too much. I collapsed backwards, and there was a sharp pain at the back of my head. It felt far away though. Too far to worry about.
Instead, I stared up at the stars. Under my breath, I started to sing.“For the love of all that’s holy, say there’s something, that makes you need me too.”
This was fine. I could stay here forever. Right where Dominic had made it seem like we had a future, with no one but the stars as our witnesses.
They were with me now. The stars.
They were all I had left.
Someone was shaking my shoulders.
“Fuck off,” I muttered, waving my hands wildly. “Lemme alone.”
“Come on, kid,” a gruff voice said. “You can’t sleep here. It’s not safe.”
What was he on about? My bed was perfectly safe. “Go ’way.”
“I’m not leaving you here. Come on now, before the trains start.”
Trains?
I tried to focus through the fog of sleep and alcohol, but it was too thick. The shape of a man materialised. He was standing over me, hands outstretched as he shook me again. My breath hitched at the familiar lines. “Dominic?”
He sighed loudly. “Fuck.”
“You came back,” I said, tears pricking at my eyes. “I knew you loved me.”
There was a long silence. Why wasn’t Dominic saying anything?
I pushed myself up onto my elbows, but my arms were basically spaghetti, and I collapsed back onto something hard. Pain ricocheted through my skull. “Ow. Why is my pillow so hard?”
“Christ, be careful. I’ve already fucked up enough. If you get hurt, he’ll definitely never forgive me.”
He bent down, and suddenly I was being hauled upwards. Now I could see his face closer. The tears came again, but for a different reason this time. “You’re not Dom.”
“No,” his dad grumbled, “I’m not. And if he’s the reason you’re out here trying to kill yourself then I’m going to give you a dose of your own medicine when you’re sober.”
“I’m not trying to kill myself.” My drunk brain didn’t even try to make sense of that last part. “I was tired, so I lay down.”
