I had to leave before we made this worse. Enough hits had been delivered. We didn’t need to destroy each other completely.
Not when I was afraid Dominic had done that already.
Turning, I gave him my back as I walked away.
Apparently he wasn’t done though. “I’ll make you one more promise, Ryan. A vow that I’ll never break.”
I didn’t stop moving, but his words landed all the same.
“Walk away if you want, Shadow, but I’ll get you back. I don’t give a shit how many years pass, or who you give yourself to in the meantime. It means fuck all. You’re mine, and I’ll be back to claim you. Just you fucking wait and see.”
I paused. Just long enough to inhale and exhale. To stop myself turning and throwing myself into his arms.
Instead, I stiffened my spine and started walking again.
28
Ryan
I didn’t go home that night.
Going home would have meant seeing the bed I shared with Dominic. Watching the window, unable to decide if it would be better or worse if he didn’t appear.
There was no reason for him to now. We were over. Finished. Whatever had existed between us had been extinguished by his lies.
If anything had truly existed at all.
Dominic loves you,a small voice whispered in the back of my mind.He loves you. Not Max.
I just wished I could be certain. Truth was, I’d never understood what Dominic saw in me. Wasn’t like he’d ever paid me any attention until I got on my knees for him. Maybe Max was right, and my more fluid sexuality gave Dominic everything he’d ever truly wanted.
Max at his side, and his carbon copy in his bed.
That’s not true,my heart screamed. It bombarded me with memories of Dominic. Moments we’d shared together. Secret conversations and private jokes.
Secret. Private.Because that was what we’d been. Well, as far as I’d been aware, anyway. Pointless really, given Max had known the whole time.
I turned the arguments over in my mind as I walked. I revisited every word Max had said. Every word I’d said. Every word Dominic had said.
There’s something to be said for walking. As the hours passed, the anger, the confusion, the frustration, it all washed away. The weariness in my bones didn’t allow for anything other than the facts. The facts, and the knowledge of how I truly felt.
Of what I truly wanted.
As the sun rose, it took away the darkness that had been festering in my heart. Dominic was right. This was just a stupid argument. Why did we have to end? It didn’t matter that I wouldn’t see him for months at a time—it was better than never seeing him at all.
Really, nothing mattered apart from one fact.
I loved him.
I loved him, and maybe that made me a fool, but I had to try. It might’ve taken me all night to reach that conclusion, but now that I had, there was no budging me from it.
Dominic wanted to try, and so did I.
I fought the urge to run to his house and start hammering on his door. I’d never met his dad, but with everything I knew about him, I suspected waking him barely past dawn wouldn’t go down well.
Talking with Dominic could wait a few hours, I reasoned, turning my feet towards home. There were two weeks before he left. Plenty of time for us to talk. To decide together how our future might look.
For me to apologise for thinking he was in love with Max. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. It didn’t explain whyDominic had betrayed me, but I knew he loved me. He’d never choose Max over me.
