Evan
Finlay and Chester took their sweet time getting back to the clan house. None of us begrudged them their privacy, especially given what had just happened. If I’d been in that situation with the man I loved, I wouldn’t have let him leave my bed for days after.
Knowing they were probably doing something similar to what Reid and I had been had my head all over the place. Difference was that Chester and Finn didn’t have any restrictions on them. Their relationship could bloom into the beautiful life it was meant to be.
That was never going to happen with me and Reid. We shouldn’t even have hooked up. I had no idea what had happened to my willpower. Apparently all it took to make it disappear was a few tears and whispered pleas.
That wasn’t entirely accurate. Against anyone else, I would’ve stayed strong. But I was starting to suspect that strength wasn’t what Reid brought out in me.
It was weakness.
I still couldn’t believe we’d fooled around. The only partthat tracked for me was the way it had ended. The fresh fracture in my heart as I’d slammed my way out of his flat.
“You shouldn’t have killed him…I really wish you hadn’t.”
Well, I had. There was nothing that could be done about it now. And I hadn’t lied when I’d told him I’d do it again. I didn’t regret it.
What we’d done on his couch though…that I regretted. I could’ve lived quite happily without knowing how he tasted, the beautiful ways he responded to my touch, the blissful contortion of his face as he cried out my name.
We’d crossed a line. I guessed I’d been dancing on the wrong side of it for a while. I might not have admitted it, but I’d spent too many hours watching Reid. Learning about him.
Falling for him.
Before tonight, I never would’ve admitted it. Not even to myself.
I couldn’t hide it now.
Reid might be able to return to his side of the line, but I couldn’t. My wolf wouldn’t allow it, and even if he would, I wasn’t sure I’d want to.
That was what I’d meant when I said fate had to be punishing me. It had put my perfect man in my path, and made him the one person I could never have.
I needed a way to be okay with it.
Focusing on the problems at hand would help, especially as they would likely impact Reid. He was right; this situation wasn’t just going to go away.
If anything, it was likely to get worse.
The sheet of paper on the table was proof of that. Such an innocuous looking document given its contents.
None of us were speaking. Logan had tried to get me to open up about how it had gone with Reid, but given upwhen all I’d give him was that he was upset about his father’s death. Not a lie, given the words he’d thrown at me.
Logan had retreated to a chair, sharpening his favourite dagger while throwing occasional glares at the letter we’d received.
Meanwhile, Calan was staring into the fire, stroking his short beard wordlessly. I had no doubt that he was working through all the possible upcoming scenarios and how we’d deal with them.
As for me? I was staring into the woods like I could make the trees part through willpower alone, giving me a glimpse of Reid.
Brodie was out guarding him right now. Until we knew that the threat from the Clarksons was completely neutralised, I wasn’t taking any chances with his safety.
I barely registered Finn and Chester’s arrival, too busy obsessing about Reid. I ran my thumb repeatedly over my lower lip, trying to erase the feel of his kiss.
Fat lot of good it did. Acid couldn’t burn away the memory of him.
“What happened?” I heard Finn ask.
Logan was the one who answered, his chipper tone belying the words he spoke. “Oh, just declarations of war and devastated humans. You know, the usual.”
“Explain,” Finn growled.
