Empty plates filled the table in front of everyone. Everyone except me.
I had no appetite. Not while telling this story.Hadn’t even been tempted to raid the biscuit tin, which had to be a first.
“He says he doesn’t blame me,” I said as I reached theend of the sorry tale. “That he understands why I did what I did…but that he can’t move past it. That he wasn’t expecting our paths to cross again, and now that they have, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
It was like I’d been uncorked—I couldn’t stop the words now that I’d started. “I know I need to accept that and let the others keep him safe but…I just can’t. My wolf won’t let me. I won’t let me. There’s just something about Reid…something that makes us both want to keep him safe. To make it so heneverhas to go through anything similar ever again. Especially with his old clan sniffing around. But how can I keep Reid safe if he won’t let me near him?”
The silence was so heavy that I could hear the wind in the trees. “Say something. Anything.”
Pa reached out to lace his fingers through Ma’s. “Well, I can see why yer blaming yerself, lad, but you shouldn’t be. Even Reid doesn’t think you’re in the wrong. Ye weren’t the one abusing Reid. If you’d brought him back here, it would’ve led to war.”
Hamish nodded. “I agree. You’re not at fault, Evan. The Clarksons are.”
I knew that, but it was no excuse. “I should’ve done something.”
“Like what?” Brodie leaned forwards on his arms. “Seriously, what could you have done that would’ve helped him?”
Before today, I wouldn’t have known how to answer that. I wished that was still the case.
I stared down at my clasped hands, my untouched plate a few inches away. “I could have not told his dad. Things got worse for him after that. If I’d just kept my mouth shut—” I broke off with a choked sob.
Ma’s chair was pushed back abruptly. I looked up to seePa watching her with uncharacteristic worry in his eyes. In fact, his entire frame was shaking, something I’d never seen happen outside of battle. “Ma? Pa? What’s wrong?”
“Come with me, Evan,” Ma said firmly, not meeting my eyes. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“June…” Dad began, but Ma put her hand on his shoulder to stop him speaking.
“I’m fine,” she said quietly. We could all still hear her, but Hamish and Brodie pretended they couldn’t out of politeness. “It’s time he knew.”
Concern had me way past being able to pretend. “Know what? Ma, are ye okay?”
She answered me by striding briskly for the door. “Get yer arse moving, Evan. I told you, we’re going to walk and talk. Boys, I want these dishes done by the time I get back. Put Evan’s between two plates—I’m not letting him go home until he’s eaten.”
She disappeared out of sight, leaving me to follow her. As I passed Pa, he grabbed my wrist. His light blue eyes, identical to my own, pleaded with me solemnly. “She’s not telling you this to make you feel worse, but to feel better. Remember that, Evan.”
Chapter 10
Evan
Ma was already at the tree line by the time I stepped outside. I had to jog to catch up to her. Her russet brown hair flowed in the wind, not a grey in sight.
Ma looked the same now as she had all my life. Everything, that was, except the expression on her face. I’d never seen this one before. It was a blend of anger, humiliation, sadness, and regret.
I hoped like fuck to never see it again.
“Ma, you’re scaring me,” I admitted, falling into step beside her.
“I’m sorry, pet.” She put her arm through mine and patted my hand. “This won’t be nice for either of us, but I need you to hold it together, okay? I think it’ll be helpful for ye.”
Her breath shook as she inhaled deeply. Closing her eyes, she asked, “Did ye ever wonder why you’ve never met anyone from my side of the family?”
“You never mentioned them, so I assumed they were dead.”
“Oh, they are,” Ma said darkly. “Your father made sure of that.”
I stumbled over nothing, making her click her tongue impatiently.
“How have ye not realised how big yer feet are yet? Five decades they’ve been that size, and you’re still tripping over thin air. I swear, you’re the clumsiest shifter to ever exist.”
