“Adamanthea?”
I gave a curt nod, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes to try and erase the image of Reid’s ten-year-old face. The shine in his eyes as he begged me to take him away, to keep him safe. It was no good. I rocked back and forth in my chair.
How could I have left him there?
“Here.” Finn pushed a glass into my hand. Adamanthea was a rare substance that was capable of intoxicating supes. The amount he’d poured suggested he was worried about me. “Drink some of this and tell me what happened.”
I reached out with a shaky hand, almost spilling the liquid. It took a ridiculous amount of concentration to get the glass to my lips. To remember how to do something as basic as swallowing. It was like all my brainpower was taken up with Reid. With how I’d failed him.
“It’s so bad,” I whispered after taking a few sips. “So fucking bad, Finn. I feel sick.”
The alcohol wasn’t helping to settle my stomach. Then again, I didn’t think anything could.
He stiffened. “Is it Chester?”
He must’ve remembered my plan to go to Thistle Do Nicely today. “No, it’s Reid. And me. I canna fucking believe this.”
“Okay,” Finn said slowly, once again reminding me why he was the leader. He was rarely ruffled, always approaching problems methodically. “Start at the beginning.”
I took a deep swig of my drink. Fuck knew I’d need all the liquid courage to get through this. “Remember the diplomatic summit I had to attend?”
Finn’s brow furrowed. “The one, like, ten years ago?”
“It was thirteen,” I said quietly, staring into my glass. Reid had to be twenty-three now. How many more years had he suffered before managing to escape? “Thirteen years ago.”
“The one hosted by the Clarkson Clan, right?” Finn clarified. “The jaguar shifters.”
“Aye.” I knew now why I’d been chosen over the others to go. I’d been born after the attack on our clan and hadn’tbeen privy to the details. While I’d known about what had happened, I hadn’t carried the same prejudices as the rest of them towards the Clarksons. Until now, I supposed. “There was a boy living there. A child.”
“A jaguar shifter?”
I shook my head once. “A human.”
Finn frowned. “Why did the Clarkson Clan have a human living with them?”
I lifted my weary eyes to meet Finn’s. I should’ve told him this thirteen fucking years ago. Maybe everything would be different if I had. “Because his parents are both shifters. His father is the clan alpha.”
Finn blinked in shock. “That’s not possible.”
“I didn’t think so either.” My glass was empty now. I turned it around in my hands to keep them busy. “They tried to keep him hidden, but he saw me playing football with a few of the other shifter kids. He snuck out and asked if he could join in.
“He was the image of his dad,” I continued, “but there wasn’t a lick of scent on him. He was just a kid. A normal human kid. Bit scrawny, but feisty as fuck.”
I saw understanding dawn on Finn’s face and swallowed back the bitterness. He’d made the connection far faster than I had. I bet he wouldn’t have forgotten about Reid.
Scratch that. He wouldn’t have walked away and left him there in the first place.
“He followed me around for the whole conference,” I said. “The alpha tried to insist he return to his quarters, but I told him I didn’t mind. The kid was funny. And he seemed kind of lonely, ye know?”
Finn nodded, his eyes sad. Like he could see where this was going. I hadn’t been able to see. I’d been there, with thekid fucking begging me, and I hadn’t been able to see the truth.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I took a deep breath before launching into the final part of the story. The bit that would reveal to my leader just how much I’d fucked up. How I’d failed him. Fuck, how I’d failed my entire fucking species. We wereprotectors.We were meant to look after the young, not ignore their pleas and fucking walk away.
“On the last morning of the summit, he turned up with bruises on his wrist and a black eye.” The glass cracked in my grip, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. The words were pouring out of me in a torrent, a wound bleeding dry. “Told me he’d fallen out of a tree the night before. Several of the other kids corroborated his story, so I didn’t think anything of it.”
“Why would you?” Finn’s tone was far gentler than I deserved. “That’s not the sort of thing you would’ve come across here. You were brought up to believe that all children are sacred and to be protected.”
