I was dimly aware of my moans echoing off the walls. Of the orgasm that was coming, regardless of whether or not I was ready. I flung my arms out as I tried desperately to find purchase. To cling to anything that might stop this fall. That might save me from breaking.
Just then, a hand grabbed mine.
Fingers laced together.
Warm blue eyes urged me onwards.
I let go. I let myself feel.
Trusting that Reid had me.
Chapter 23
Reid
I’d exchanged blow jobs with more men than I cared to admit. When you weren’t comfortable doing anal with one-night stands, they became your go-to for quick hookups.
So explain to me why what had just transpired with Evan felt so different? Tell me why, after I swallowed everything he gave me, we stayed on the floor for god knows how long? Why we didn’t speak? Why we stared at each other like we were both trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened?
I had no answers. None. From his silence, I suspected Evan didn’t either.
This hadn’t happened the last time, so what was different now?
“We’re in different places, and that’s okay.”
Was it though? Evan might not have spelled it out, but the truth was out there. He’d been watching me for months. Learning about me.
Falling for me.
I should’ve been putting boundaries in place. Setting expectations. Letting him down gently.
Instead, I’d let him suck my cock before returning the favour.
Enthusiastically.
Well fucking done, Reid. Stupendous decision-making.
I’d always been impulsive. It was part and parcel of having ADHD. Somehow though, I didn’t think I could blame this on it.
Evan finally broke the silence. “Feeling less stressed?”
I pasted a smile on my lips. It felt as fake as the one Evan was sporting. “Given I currently resemble overcooked spaghetti, I’d say so.”
God, how I hated lying. But what else was I meant to say?Actually, I’m terrified that I’ve fucked everything up. That you’re going to push me for more than I’m ready for now because we’ve had sex. Or, you’re not going to, but that doing this has hurt you.
“Good,” he said weakly, sitting up. “Any regrets?”
I wasn’t the most observant person, but even I could see how tense Evan’s shoulders suddenly were. “I make it a point to never regret orgasms.”
That wasn’t a lie, right? The orgasm had been great. It was the rest of it that was causing me to spiral. “You?”
“Nope.” He got to his feet, pulling up his trousers and sending a tight smile my way. “No regrets.”
Guess I wasn’t the only one lying.
I used the bathroom to clean up first before swapping with Evan. With a few seconds to myself, I drifted over to the window. My gaze sought out the spot where Evan had found me the night before. Where I’d cowered against my car, wishing for anyone to save me.
Not anyone.Someone.
