The video cuts off with a curse from Nate.
For a long time, I can only stare at the play button, wondering if I can stomach that again. But I feel like I need to. What I’ve just witnessed doesn’t feel real. This has to be a bad dream.
Of all the things that had gone through my mind when Nate sat me down, this wasn’t one of them. I thought that he would have cheated. Or that he was acting like a complete fool and I needed to go get him.
But this? Thishurts.
Rob and I may not talk as much as Nate and I do, but I had no idea he felt this way. I had no idea his friends talk about me in this way. They’ve been nice every time I’ve hung out with them.
I press play and watch it all over again. As it repeats, I realize I would have preferred him to have hired strippers. Maybe even flirt with a woman at the bar.
Because this has my stomach sinking into my ass. This hurts me deeply. Hehatesme at times. And we’re supposed to get married.
The video ends and I go to play it a third time, but Nate pulls the phone away. “I think you need to breathe,” he says. This isn’t the first time he’s seen me at my lowest. Hell, I’ve seen him at his lowest too. When everything with our families fell apart in high school, it was all we could do to remind each other to survive.
I had hoped it would be a long time before I showed Nate that kind of hurt again. Obviously, tonight is the night to bring it back.
I take a shaky breath and it does nothing.
“What else did you see?” I ask.
“They were talking like this for a bit. I didn’t record that, mostly because I was in shock. I figured the speech would be bad, but notthatbad. I’m sorry, berry. I knew once I had the video, I needed to show you.”
“I know. It just ...” I don’t have words as I curl into a ball on the couch.
“Maisie, I?—”
“I don’t understand. If he hated me at times, why would he continue to date me? Why not just talk to me?”
Mom and Dad have fought. And I’ve seen it. I’m sure Mombriefly felt like she hated Dad and vice versa. But they always talked it out. That has been my goal too.
I’ve always had an idea of what I want in love. It should be warm and inviting, like a cozy blanket on the softest couch. That’s what Mom and Dad have.
Did I have that with Rob?
Could I ever, if he’d often thought he hated me and never brought it up?
“Can you send me that?” My voice shakes and I must be close to crying, but no tears escape my eyes. Probably because my body still feels like it’s in free fall.
“Only if you promise not to rewatch it.”
“I won’t. I need it for something else.”
“And what do you need it for?”
I have a feeling Nate doesn’t want me to reach out to Rob, but I have to know if this is how he really feels. I need his side of the story. So I take Nate’s phone before he can try to stop me. Once the message is sent, I throw it back at him.
“Maisie, what are you doing?” Nate asks as I get my own phone out.
“Nothing.”
“You don’t need to talk to him. Just take a minute?—”
My message is already sent. I’ve forwarded the video too.
Maisie
Is this how you really feel?
