My body achesat the memory. Just like when we hugged, I didn’t know how much I was missing. All of those times of him holding me as I fell asleep, I never imagined there would be a last time.
Nate is still staring at me, brow pinched as he thinks about it too. I know what he’s going to offer, so I shake my head.
“Anyway, we aren’t those little kids anymore. I’ll be fine.” I turn to my side, rolling over to look out the window. I’m sure looking at the ocean after falling into it isn’t going to help my dreams, but it’s better than facing Nate after what I’ve admitted.
Then the bed dips with weight.
“What?” I turn to see Nate lying down.
“Come here,” is all he says. I stare, waiting for himto flinch or move away. When he doesn’t, all I feel isrelief. I nearly scramble to get into his arms, and it feels like coming home.
Nate lets out a long breath, and I wonder if he’ll tense up as I make his shoulder my pillow. Instead, his arms wrap around me, pulling me into his side.
If I thought his hugs were good, cuddling with him is even better. He’s everywhere and I don’t want to leave. My leg hikes up on his and I can’t resist the happy sigh that escapes me as I sink into him.
“Thank you,” I say. “I needed this.”
I expect him to crack a joke, which is what he would do any other time. Instead, I feel him sigh, and I’m pressed tighter into his chest.
It feels like my heart could explode.
“Get some sleep,” he says softly. “You need it.”
As I drift off, I know I will. This is what I’ve been missing for ... years.
And I have it back.
When I wake up,I’m being drowned in the best way.
Nate must have turned to his side at some point during the night. My back is pressed tightly to his chest, and he’s curled around me like a comma. There’s never been a doubt in my mind that he cares for me, but this really puts it into perspective.
For once, I feel well rested. I didn’t have a single bad dream while wrapped up in Nate’s arms. It seems like what worked all of those years ago still works to this day.
I’m tempted to get out of bed and go get him a coffee as a thank-you for what he did for me the night before. But as I try to move away from him, he grumbles in his sleep and pulls me closer. His hips were slightly angled away from me just moments ago.Now every single inch of us is pressed together, and I can feel something against my ass.
Somethingveryhard.
Immediately, it feels like I’m back in that pool again, watching Nate step out as I realize my body wants his. I didn’t think I would ever consider the idea of sex for a long time after Rob, yet here I am.
It’s bad and it’s wrong, but my body heats up. My brain nearly goes offline, and I’m tempted to trace the outline of his cock. To wake him up with a completely different sort of thank-you.
From what I’m feeling, it’ll be a treat for us both.
But my logic hangs on by a thread and I stay still while I figure out what to do. Luckily, I don’t have to do anything because Nate wakes up. At first, his hands rub up and down my side, and I’m starting to wonder if I have a fever. Then he tears away from me like I’m on fire.
My eyes slam shut and I feign sleep. There’s nowayI can face him, not after what I felt.
“Shit,” he mutters. “I knew I shouldn’t have ...” He trails off and goes to the bathroom.
I knew I shouldn’t have?Shouldn’t have what? Slept in the same bed as me?
Slowly, I sit up, my body growing cold. The night before, I tried to catch any signs of discomfort from Nate about our position, and I hadn’t caught a thing. Had I been wrong?
Yes, feeling his hardness was awkward, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Men get boners. They’re rarely sexual first thing in the morning. It was very possible it had nothing to do with me. It was simply friction.
The thought didn’t make me feel any better.
Maybe I had pushed him too hard. Yesterday was scary, but that’s no excuse for me putting him in a position where he’s uncomfortable. With a sigh, I wait for him to come out of thebathroom. I purposely don’t look at the mirror, giving him as much privacy as I can.
