I nod. Any second now, he’ll pull away and the cycle will start again. I know he can’t tolerate this for long.
Instead, his hand stays. He’s a lifeline. There’re only a fewminutes left in the ride, but when I tense up again, he tells me that I’m okay. I need his words to survive.
Finally, we come to a long, wooden dock that stretches to the island. I nearly jump up, eager to get off the boat. There’s a second where I freeze up, but Nate gets off first and he helps me step over the water.
“Thank fuck,” I mutter. “Would it be weird if I kissed the dock?”
He laughs. “How good is your immune system? You already exposed yourself earlier to the deck. Who knows what’s been on this dock too.”
I wince at the thought. “Okay, maybe not. But I’m glad that’s over. Thank you for ... you know.”
Nate is back at his usual distance, but he nods as if it were nothing.
And I already want more.
I force the thought away. If I made it on that tiny boat, I’m enjoying this damn island. I’m not thinking about Nate or the fact he doesn’t like to be touched anymore.
“Botanical gardens,” I say as I turn to him. “That’s where we’re going, right?”
“Yes. Our car’s waiting.”
I nod, knowing my delay back on the ship didn’t help our timing, and he leads me to a tiny cab that’s idling. As we take off, I watch the sights. Many of our shipmates are shopping with local vendors or getting on a bus for their tours.
After our experience the day before, I’m glad to not be doing that.
The drive is longer than I expect. We have all day on the island, so I know we have plenty of time, but this is an excursion that would take up all of it. Nate knew that, and he was willing to walk through a garden with me rather than stay on the beach.
And I’ve been worried about what I don’t have with him.
This is why we need to be on the mainland. I can thinkstraight. He’s one of the best friends I have. So what if he doesn’t want to touch me? That’s not a requirement for friendship.
I feel more like myself when we’re dropped off. Not even the sight of the water through the car window is enough to dispel it.
“I call paying!” I announce. Nate loses time because he’s in the middle of saying goodbye to the driver when I run inside.
I slap my card down in front of the poor woman running the ticket counter before he catches up. “Too slow,” I say with a smirk.
“I thought you were still traumatized by the boat. My mistake.”
“I’m on land now. You’ve got your best friend back.”
“I’ll remember that.” He huffs. Once we have our tickets, we enter the gardens.
I didn’t realize how much I missed greenery until it’s in front of me. Everything is lush around us. Palm trees stretch toward the sky and all kinds of island plants sprout from the ground. The air is hot, but there’s plenty of shade.
“Wow,” I say. “This is gorgeous.”
“And so much slower than the beaches,” Nate adds. “I don’t think many of the tourists from the ship are willing to venture this far.”
“So, that was your plan, huh?”
“We’ve been surrounded by people a little too much,” he replies. I can’t disagree with him. I much prefer the sound of birds in the distance to the white noise of the ship.
I’m able to remember Mom wants pictures of all the adventures we’re on, so I make sure to get a few of the new plants and animals around us. The gardens are beautiful, and I know I’ll have plenty to show her. We go over wooden bridges and see massive floral arrangements.
There are a few people here, most of them couples who are taking pictures together. Even I can admit that everything feels romantic in a way it shouldn’t. Rob always went on the hunt forthe best places in town, and if I could’ve gotten him here, he would have used it for some kind of sappy confession.
I wait for Nate to crack a joke about it like he always does. The tension I’m determined to ignore is waiting at the edges of my consciousness, and I can’t tell if it’s because of Rob or if it’s the way something feels like it’s missing from this walk.
