Idon’tlike to think about it, but of course I remember it. Nate and I were hanging out, and I was in a bad mood but not sure why.That was when I opened my text chain with Rob and he’d completely ghosted me.
“Yes,” I say. “And I gave him hell for that.”
“You did. I remember you saying you’d rather be single than ignored, if memory serves.”
I wince. That was harsh, but now that I think about it, it might have been better to stick to my guns. I’m not sure why I didn’t. But I remember Rob calling. He promised to be better. And over time, that anger faded.
He proposed less than a year later.
“He whittles you down. Slowly makes it seem likeyou’rethe one overreacting. No one tries harder than Rob when he’s messed up. If you ask me, he should be trying every single day.” The words are coated with a bitterness that I can’t explain, and it unsettles me.
“Are you ... annoyed that I stayed with Rob for so long?” I ask.
“Why would you ask that?”
“You have a weird tone.” When he stares at me warily, I laugh. “Come on. You’re not the only one who knows their best friend. I know you too, remember?”
“Right,” he mutters. “And when you were happy, no. But it wasn’t fun seeing him screw things up and get unlimited chances.”
I stare at Nate. Is that what I did? Give Rob unlimited chances when he hurt me?
Would I have ever seen it if he hadn’t gone after Nate?
My stomach churns and I’m not sure I want to be eating anymore. Now that Rob’s gone, I’m not missing much. My life hasn’t changed in a dramatic way.
I don’t even miss him yet.
So why did I give him chances? Why did I let his gifts and attention win me over?
My phone buzzes with a text and I flip itover.
Rob
I’m guessing you went on our honeymoon.
A flare of defensiveness hits me and another one comes through.
Rob
You probably need that time. Enjoy it.
As I read them, I can see where I would have taken those words at face value. He seems like he regrets it. He seems sorry.
This is when I would soften.
“There he is,” Nate says with a laugh. He finishes off his drink. “I knew it wouldn’t be long. I’ll let you decide what to say to him.”
He sounds resigned, like he knows what I’m going to do. With a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, he stands and walks away.
My jaw tightens as I refocus on the text. I still remember what he said about Nate and me. It still burns when I think about it.
Instead of softening, I poke the bear.
Maisie
Thanks. Nate and I are definitely enjoying it.
Rob texts back immediately.
